Love me some Cadbury Chocolates!!!!!

It truly is the simple and purest gifts that make me feel loved!! Not just this time of year, anytime.

I love to be the giver and know that it's never about the price tag!

We all love it when someone remembers a comment you made at an earlier time about an item you would love to have. A favorite candy or a favorite perfume that we are surprised with. That they remembered that small detail about you, is a statement in  itself.

A gift can be a phone call made, text, social media post, or e-mail sent. Hearing from someone, means that they thought of you. Words given freely, are probably the most intimate personal gift one can give.

I received gifts from my kids and nieces & nephews, they were very thoughtful. It is a prideful thing to receive a gift from someone you will always see as a child and who earned their own money to purchase it, wrap it and be the giver of said gift.

I also received a gift, that I have worked very, very hard for. I can't think of a better time to receive it than when it was given, Christmas Eve.

I always give 2 gifts that my kids receive each and every year, and will do until I can no longer give. A book and a board/card game. A book to grow their imagination and mind. An old fashioned game to bring them together.

I also received this bag of candy from one of my son's, girlfriend. I love, love, love the Cadbury Chocolates they sell at Easter time. She saw this and immediately thought of me.

Isn't that the purpose of gift giving in the first place? A gift that shows you are in fact cared for. That's something you can't put a price tag on.

Wishing all of you a most thoughtful Holiday!!!

Merry Christmas,

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

We are all One.....

Really let the words sink in. We are all human. We all require the same basic things in order to survive.  So what separates us then?  Our Ego's for starters.

Ego--egotism; conceit; self-importance:

When you allow your ego to become bigger than who you are, it changes your way of thinking. You start thinking that you are better than those around you. You are the best. You can do anything. Humility is what you need. Is what will keep us together. We all have talents. Things we excel in. Things that make us, well, us. Does that make you any better than us? No. We are all meant to do what we do. That doesn't give you the right to believe that your talent makes you better than anyone else. Be humble with your talent. Talents were meant to bring people together not separate us.

Beliefs--confidence; faith; trust:

I believe in God. I believe in me. I believe in Fate. I believe in Connections. I trust people. I do not expect you to believe in what I do. We can be friends and have different beliefs. It brings variety into our lives. Embracing different beliefs should teach us respect not separation from others.

Fear--something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension.

Fear of each other is what we feel when we allow our ego's and belief's come between us. We become more isolated or just spend time with those we agree with. How is that living?

So I ask you, Why do we allow our belief's to become so black n white that we cannot even begin to think that we could come to a compromise? Why do we allow our Ego's to take over?


What happened to "Good will towards Men" or "Peace on Earth"?


During one of my mentoring sessions my mentor said to me, "You do not know just how good you really are. You are going to make a difference." I believe I am very good at what I do. I will never think that I am the best. I have gained and lost many things in my lifetime, but I am humble enough to know that only I can do so much and without others, I am nothing.

It is through making a lot of mistakes, losing people, (that I love) and getting knocked down, that I learned how to be humble. I can't change the past but moving forward I can be a better person.

I have learned that in order to find peace or good will towards men, we first must be able to let go of our ego's, letting go of the belief that only our personal belief's are right and not to be afraid of accepting others for who they actually are.


I wish you Peace and Good Will To All.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Wish you were here.......

Memories of of our youth and when life seemed easy.

Bringing home your newborn/adopted child.

Those tumultuous years of high school.

The time when you felt like you would conquer the world.

The moment you knew what love was.

Romantic moments that filled your heart.

The moment of loss. Varied reasons for us all, but we all understand.

The moments of laughter that had you laughing uncontrollably.

Those little unexpected moments that brought so much joy n love to you.

That moment you knew would never be erased from your memory.

So many moments in our lives to be grateful for.

Moments that make us want them again.

Time is irreplaceable.

Appreciate the moment.

Time has a way of making us say:

"Wish you were here"

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

I will breathe......

Ever have one of those days where its just....A Monday.......?

So much can go on in one day that it becomes overwhelming. Leaving you no choice but to just breathe through it.

Many of us wear many hats throughout the day. We are the employee, go to person, friend, teacher, coach, wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, dad, us as a person and the list goes on n' on........

On these type of days we may get through it with one breath at a time. We will stop and clear our minds. We will refocus. We will dig down deeper for strength. 

We are not quitters. We are not dreamers. We are realists and will get the job done.

When the day is done, we get to relax and wash away the day. Knowing that we have survived it.

Knowing that whatever comes at us we will deal with it, if we just take a moment to remind ourselves:

That anything is possible if we just stop and

BREATHE...


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

One day it won't..........

Kell and I are sick chillin on the couch today. She is watching Netflix and I am on the laptop scrolling through Pinterest.  Kell looks over and points to this quote and states that is how she feels about her scoliosis.

It's easy to give her positive support. Help her accept her role in this life. Yes, role. It is not a disability. It is a disfigurement of her spine, not a limitation of what she can do or who she can become. Then she says something like this today.

I realize no matter how much I say, my words will fall short until she comes into her own terms of acceptance of herself, not mine.

Life is all about accepting ones role in it. We need to figure out how we fit in. What we can contribute to life. Something I struggle with constantly.

I know what my role is but sometimes I don't want it.  And when I turn away from it, I become something I don't like. I am not truly happy with myself because I am not doing what I am meant to do. Life doesn't stop putting me in situations to show me, no matter how hard I turn away from it, it will always be there.  Kinda, run all you want, I am going no where and you will not be happy until you pick it up again. Yes, I do pick it up again.

Kell also told me that she looked up scoliosis quotes on her ipad.  She memorized and loves this one:

"Courage doesn't always roar,

Courage can be the voice at the end of the day saying,

I will try again tomorrow."

I take no credit for her. I often question why God gave her to me. She is amazing and graceful in ways that I will never be. I am learning from her, daily.

We will continue on and know that one day, it won't bother us any more.......

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Sunday's.......

This is a perfect Sunday in December for me:

Football. Hockey. Home cooked meal. Chillin. Scrabble. Christmas movie. Family. No chores. No work.

It is a day to forget about the week before. Relax and get energized for the week ahead.

Some people spend their Sunday shopping for their holiday, baking, decorating, or preparing meals for the upcoming week ahead. Taking a drive looking at holiday nights in the evening.

It is a perfect day for daydreaming, forgetting about your worries, and making memories.

The other great thing about a Sunday in December means the Monday's are going to end for the year soon! They are the last Monday's of the current year we are in!!! Counting this Monday, we only have 4 more to go!! I personally cannot wait to be done with this year and it's Monday's!!

I do know that Sunday's can be fluid, unique and timeless. I was glad to see this quote and know that I am not the only one who thinks this way.

Whether they are in December, September or April, always enjoy your Sunday's.


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Hold back the River.....

Life is unique for each of us. We can meet someone, hit it off, and become besties.  Then we get side tracked with life.

Sometimes we can get so focused on our goals that we forget what is surrounding us. We can get into a routine and be so comfortable with that, we don't even realize that we are enclosing ourselves in solitude. Sort of just flowing with the river of life.

The friends that we used to spend so much time with and the things we enjoy doing, we no longer do.  Even spending less time with family.

Work, family, and just life responsibilities are time consuming, no doubt. So why is it that we stop texting, calling, and making that time for those people that we enjoy?

The life we are supposed to be building shouldn't exclude those things we enjoy and the people we enjoy doing them with.

The world today is getting so technology savvy but it is taking away the personal touches that our lives need. Interaction with the things that ground us, connect us to one another, and to a real life.

Exploring, feeling each moment, laughing, crying, talking, and bonding with those that meant so much to us before we forgot who we were, is what life is all about.

Not the cushy job, big house, and bigger bank accounts.  What is the point of having all of that, if we have people that we knew before and after?

Those stories that we tell of the days gone by, were once moments in our lives.

The good thing about friends, family and those we call family, they will always accept us back when we stray.

Just be sure that the ones you have left, are the right ones to leave behind.

Not everyone in your life is willing to hold back the river for you.


Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http:/www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

"Are you okay?"

Tis' the season of happiness, thankfulness and joy. Spreading good cheer and kindness to our loved ones. A Happy time for all!!!

All of us? Did you know that this time of year is one of the highest times for depression and suicides?

When we think of the unthinkable happening, we always believe it will happen in someone else's circle and not anyone we could possibly know. Until it does. Then it's, I had no idea they felt that way.

How well do you know your circle? Do you feel that anyone in your circle would feel comfortable enough to tell you that they are really hurting to the point of taking their own life? It is not easy to admit how badly we really think of ourselves to our loved ones out loud.

Think about that for a few minutes, please. I am not saying that you can change anyone's mind or figure out how depressed someone actually is if they are not prepared to tell you. Sometimes no matter how hard we do try, we cannot change the outcome.

I can think of a hundred times when I have said that I am just tired or it's nothing to bother you with. I'll get over it soon enough. When I am asked out, I will say I am going to stay in tonight. I don't feel like going out. I have stuff to do, when in fact I don't. Haven't we all done that? Our reasoning can be, we just didn't want to talk about it in that moment, we haven't figured out how we feel about it or we just didn't plan on telling anyone at all about it. Working so much during the holidays, sometimes I do just want to stay in.  Our response to that would be one of, "I respect you and when your ready I am here for you." Then we go about our day, wait for them to tell us or forget about it thinking they will talk to someone, eventually.

I am using me as an example. Simple explanations that we would not think anything about. But I am the type of person who would be convincing. I am asking you to really pay attention to those you come across daily. Listen to your gut instincts. If something is off, it probably is and do not assume it just a stressful time for them.  We may get a bad vibe and think it has to do with us, when in fact it doesn't.

Show kindness to everyone you come across. Make time out of your busy schedule to spend actual time with those you know. Pick up that phone and call someone you haven't spoken to in awhile. Put your busy life aside and make time.

We can get so caught up in this season, that we tend to forget that not everyone is as happy about it as we are.

We need to make sure that when we ask, "Are you okay?" That the person knows we would set aside time for them in a heartbeat. That they know our intentions are purely for their well being. That by us saying, anything you need me to do for you, means just that.

And sometimes it's just knowing that someone would actually stop everything that they have going on for us, means everything in the world at that moment.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Kell surprised me with this today. It got me thinking about love and how unconditional it really is.

You see I work in retail. I have worked a double shift and more hours than I normally do in the past five days.  I haven't been home much and as a mom, it weighs on me.

The guilt of the working Mom. Do I spend enough quality time with my family? Do I know everything that is going on with my kids? Am I "here" enough for them? The questions can be never ending, if I let them.

I let the questions of doubt go and just do the best that I can. I know some days I will fall short and that it will be okay.

That my kids need to see a mom who works, cares for them and their home. A mom who always does her best to put them first. Provide for them. A mom who can balance life.

They also need to see a Mom who can fall short some days. A mom who needs help getting dinner on the table in time. A mom who forgot to sign that form for school. A mom who is just tired sometimes.

A mom who is not perfect but is loved unconditionally anyways.

A mom who needs to give herself a break. Realize that the job she does, as being a mom, is being done for children who love her unconditionally.

That on this day of giving thanks, I have been shown that I have so much to be thankful for and my flaws do not matter to those that love me.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

NO!!!!!!

It is hard being told no. No you are not the one for me. No you are not the one for this job. No, I don't want you to do that. No, that doesn't look good on you. No, I do make more than you. No, I know more than you. No, I do not like your idea. No, you're not the person for the job. No, you cannot do that. No, I am not willing to change my mind. Just No.

We are constantly being told no. Or it can seem like it. At work or personally,  it wears on you. What if I told you that being told no is actually good for you?

The word NO, is not a negative word. Sometimes it is not the end. It can mean a beginning. There are times when it is meant to challenge you. Yes. A challenge for you to take a new perspective. To learn why you're being told no. To learn something new about yourself and those around you.

Career wise or personally, it can mean you're not seeing the importance of something. Not seeing the bigger picture. Not giving it your all. Doing things not necessarily the wrong way but there can be a better way. A job you love, may not be the right job for you after all. To bring an end. Not everyone will love you for you. Not everyone will be willing to stay in your life. Not everyone has good intentions when they are in your life.

It is not always a challenge. No can mean the end. Some things are not meant to be for many reasons. No doesn't always mean a refection of you but the circumstances surrounding you instead.

NO, is a reality check. It can change the path you are on and place you on a better one.

So, Bring on the NO and look at it as a good thing!!!


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

and "CLICK" that's it...........

Connections are unpredictable. They come out of nowhere and when we least expect it.

I have been fortunate to come across a couple of these connections in my life time. Each of them being unique, meaningful, never the same, and always not what I expected.

People come and go so often throughout our lifetime, we need to pay attention to those that come with the connection. They often bring a lesson, either for them or for ourselves and sometimes both.

Human nature tends to want us to control the outcome of what happens in our lives. Keeping us with the illusion of the belief that we know what is best for us and only us.  It is a humbling experience to realize that sometimes we need help in navigating our own lives. To learn things about ourselves that we couldn't possibly learn any other way. We can also be the voice of reason or inspiration to that connection.

Regardless of what you believe, you can not always simply explain away a connection with someone that you, yourself, didn't see happening.  You do not have to like it or the person that you have been paired with. Believe me I know. I have been there. It is like, why the hell am I in this person's life??  I think you learn the most from them or you are put there for their benefit. Think about that. Anyone come to mind? Now think in the terms of what you have learned from them or they from you.  It doesn't have to always be personal, it can be professional too. Most of the time, they leave your life as quickly as they came into it.

They are unique, special and what you need in that moment of time. 

Sometimes though, you truly enjoy their company and what the connection brings out in both you. They can be meant to stay longer and if your lucky enough, they will be with you always

I know this is a topic I have covered before. I was recently reminded that there are moments in life, if we stop and look with a clear view, we will see, that Yes, we are not meant to live life alone and we do not always know what is best for us. That we can be placed in someone's life to help them and in turn, we can be helping ourselves at the same time.

We can ruin things when we try to control them. Control can bring an end too early and will change the true meaning of what the connection was meant to be. 

A reminder, that when the "CLICK" happens, we simply need, to allow it to be.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

.

Stop being stuck.........

Thinking of a change? Want to run?

New place. Fresh faces. New address. New career.

You will still find yourself stuck.

Your problems will not go away, even when you leave them behind.

Time has a way of making us forget for awhile of what we are running away from.

The thing is, when we build our life, we can't factor in the variable of life itself. We make mistakes. We doubt some choices. We regret some moments. Some moments change us. We enjoy some moments. We have a life to live.

Stop running away from what is causing you to want to run in the first place.

Think about this, it takes the same amount of strength, if not more, to avoid something and to keep running from it, than to just deal with it and to let it go.

You get a richer deeper understanding of life when you face your problems and let them go.

You have the strength.

You just don't believe you do.

Stop being stuck.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

I hope......

I used my right to have a say in this election.

I have this right by choice made by others, not by some odd chance.

I voted for what I choose to believe in.

I am not wrong in my choice.

You are not wrong in your choice.

It is a choice.

Regardless of who wins, we will all have to deal with the outcome. 

Someone has to lose and win.

My concern isn't really who wins, but how are we going to deal with the outcome?

A country that is clearly divided already, will this only create further division?

I hope, whatever happens, I hope, it brings us together as a nation.

As you all know by now, I am a person who has hope.

I hope we will be a Great nation. A nation that stands together instead of against one another.

I hope that we do not continue to destroy one another for their choice.

I hope, because any other way, is not by chance but by choice.

A choice made by each American.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

This one's for you Shawn........

Idiot

"I'm gonna tell you what I think about you in that unforgivable way I do
You're an idiot
And I hate your guts
I guess I'm about as happy for you as I would be a cockroach in my food
I know it's terrible
I really hate you though

Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who's never gonna wish you well
Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who wants you to go to hell"

I was out with my youngest son this afternoon. He found my Lisa Marie Presley CD in the glove compartment. After I explained who she was, he put the CD in.

Yes, his initial reaction was, "Mom!" In my defense, not all her songs on this CD are this negative. I had to explain why I have this CD and why I listen to it. He said that this would be a good post for my blog. Inspiration strikes everywhere. Thank you Shawn. I love being your mom!!!

I bought it out of curiosity many years ago. I liked it. It is a good cd to listen too. I can pick up on her emotions throughout the songs. If I have a bad day with people, I pop this in, go to track #7, and blast it when I am driving or jogging. Since I am being honest, yes I am singing right along with it at the top of my lungs too!! LOL It is a good stress reliever for me.  I am getting all negative thoughts out in a positive way. I feel different about the person and situation when I am done. It is better to get out all the negativity out in a positive way and harm no one. Otherwise we will find ourselves in a worse predicament. Honestly, you know you are thinking what the words in the song are saying anyways. Find a song that you can relate to and let it rip. It is always better to release the negativity in a positive way, before unloading all that negativity in the moment. It is just a moment and we almost always feel different once we get it all out. We are all human, make mistakes and we shouldn't beat ourselves up when we do let it out instead of waiting. This works 95% of the time for me.  When it doesn't, then I need to talk to the person, after I sing it out first!!!

Anyways, this brought out a conversation about people. Fake ones and real ones. How they make us feel. All is good when it is good. When it is bad, it causes us to be hurt. Shawn was saying Fake friends are the worst. I agree. You are in it or your not. Why pretend to like someone? Why pretend to be someone's friend? Especially when you are a teenager. This is the time that you are trying to figure out what kind of person you are going to be. A time when you should be developing your character and personality. A time when you learn who you are. Will  you be fake or real? 

We all want to be liked by our peers. We want to make the connection with like minded people. We want a few to call us friend. Being a teen in today's society is a difficult thing. I remember being me. I am a different person. I try to teach him that it doesn't matter what other's think of him. It matters what he thinks of himself. The right people will like you for who you are, not what you can offer them.

I wish every teen would get that!! If every teen started being themselves and doing the things that they liked doing, regardless if anyone else did, life would be so much easier for them. I get it, I really do understand how hard it is to fit in. To be liked. To be considered different. To be made fun of. My full first name, Jacqueline or around Halloween time, Jack-O-Lantern or Jacky wacky. Did I mention that I wear glasses? Yeah, try being a teen in the 70's. A time when Peace was cool, being a preppy, jock, being free, fighting for rights, and computers was a new concept. Talk about trying to fit in. That may be part of the problem  There are so many things we can do and belong too, that it may be overwhelming for us to decide. We have to try different things to find out where we truly belong or click with.

Shawn can tell you that I tell him this:

Do not have a set image of what your friends should be or look like.
Do the things that you are interested in, for you.
Show kindness. Always.
Accept that not everyone will be real with you. That is on them. NOT YOU!!!! It is not because of you. Believe that.
Do not be afraid to say what is in your heart.
Rejection is a part of life, even for adults.
What other people think and say about you, is none of your business. Seriously it is not.
Someone can like you but not like what you do. Read that one again. Think about it.

Be who you are.

The right people will become your friends.

You will find your path.

It just takes time.

Be patient with yourself.

Be Real.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/JackiesView 

12 seems about right........

I have written three posts this week and keep changing them. I thought I should post something inspirational and filled with wisdom. You see, I am turning 50. That, half a century mark. The big 5 0.  It's one of those milestones that should leave me feeling accomplished and wiser. 

Yeah, I'm winging this thing called life. Wiser, depends on the moment.  Accomplished, well I do have 4 healthy happy kids, so yeah, check accomplished.

This is my 2 cents worth:

Know that Love is free. You can't hold onto something that is meant to be free.

Some of us are connected.  Allow the connection to be what it's meant to be.  Some people are meant to come and go throughout your life.  Let them.

Be honest with yourself. Always. Even when you're not with others.

All relationships require your time and energy.

Forgive yourself.  If you don't, how will you be able to forgive anyone else?

Value yourself, so others will know your worth.

Regrets suck. Go for it or let it go.

Expectations ruin relationships.

Love the body you have and you will be confident and sexy. Your size means nothing.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

Time is precious, treat it that way.

Life can suck.  Allow yourself a 24hr period of self-pity and move on.

Life can be wonderful and fun. Make the most of it.

Your age marks how many years you have been alive.

How you feel about yourself is how old you really are.

Today, I feel about 12, without a care in the world.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

I am still HUNGRY!!!!!

This made me laugh!! It is soo true!!

I have three sons, one adult and two teens and yes they can put away some food!!

I have no idea how they can eat so much in one sitting and 30 minutes later want to eat again. Do not even get me started on how much they can eat during a growth spurt!! Insane amounts of food.

Anyways, I was scrolling along and this popped up in my news feed. It made me think of my boys when they were younger and where they are now. Besides the fact that time flies by way too fast, a lot has changed since the day I brought them each home up to now.

We think the hardest part of raising kids is when they are babies and toddlers. We have the job of teaching them everything while keeping them safe at the same time. They are so curious about life and everything around them. Most days it is a joy to have them around. The times that I am like, "Not one more question please or I said so" are the times that I am forgetting that they are just being who they are.

Kids are a joy. They can be demanding of our time and energy. They will annoy us at times. They will also bring us a joy that is indescribable.

Then they become Teenagers.  Attitudes and I know everything becomes their motto. They no longer have simple questions about why the sky is blue and what are clouds made of. No. Now they want they car keys and why can't they go out until 1 am? Why can't I just let them be?

Heartaches, like no other, come from your child during their quest for adulthood. You will survive them. Although, I don't know how, but we do.

There is nothing that can explain the horrific thoughts that go through your mind when your child wants to learn how to drive. When they can do for themselves and no longer need your help as much in life. When you have to let go and you do.

Proud seems to small of a word when you see your child become an adult. When they are able to handle life on their own. When they come to you for advice. When you see that they did in fact listen all those times when you didn't think they were. When you see them being kind, loving, mature adults.

For all the heartaches I have endured, I have had my heart swell with pride and love that makes every heartache forgettable.

Enjoy them when you have them, even when your tired.

Feed them when they ask. 

Fill their minds as much as you would fill their bellies because even when you believe they do not hear you, they are in fact listening.

They do not want to admit that they still think you hung the moon in the sky, it's just not cool to admit that now. 

Regardless of what they tell you, when they are on their quest to adulthood, they still need you......


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

The First To Throw A Stone.........

Lie-Noun-a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

Fib-Noun-a small or trivial lie; minor falsehood.

Is it ever okay to tell a lie?

Does it sound better when we call a lie, a fib?

Withholding the truth will be considered a lie--it is debatable but a lie is lie.

Are there different degrees of lies? Minor lie? Major lie? Withholding information lie?

Can you believe someone once you caught them in a lie?

Is a person considered bad if they lie?

I think we all lie to some degree.

Come across someone you haven't seen in a long time and they ask you how you doin? What is your response?

I immediately say good, okay or whatever comes to mind. I am not about to go into the details of my life with someone who is not an immediate part of it. Does that mean I am not good or whatever? No but depending on the moment of my life, I could have a million other things going on. Telling the truth would mean I would have to say, "Overall good, but I got some stuff that I do not want to discuss with you. No offense."

What if you run into someone that you do not care for? They say Hi. How do you respond? Do you say, "Hey, how you doin?" Isn't that a lie if you no longer care about this person, do you really care how they are? Telling the truth would mean, "Hey, don't talk to me cause I could really care less about you. No offense."

You plan a surprise for someone.  You lie about your whereabouts so you do not have to tell this person what you are planning.

So what hurts more? The lie. Or The truth?

Is it really all black and white? Is there any grey?

Yes a lie, fib, or withholding information is considered a lie. That is what is black and white.

The reason behind the lie, well that is the grey.

Now I will ask you this, if there is a good reason for telling a fib or lie, does that lesson the credibility of the person?

Can a person with integrity withhold information without being considered a liar?

If you are willing to justify a lie, than what does that say about you?

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

Hallelujah........

Rejection and a broken heart can lead us down a dark path of broken dreams and to the acceptance of a lesser love or none at all.

As children we have no say in the love we see. We are subject to the love that is around us. It does form us. For some, it can be a bittersweet moment and others a glorious look into what lies ahead for us.

Not everyone has the unconditional love from the ones that brought them into this world. Conditions placed by those that raise us, give us an unhealthy view of what love is.  Rejection from the one's that gave you birth can weigh heavily on the heart.  It forms you at a young age. Filling us with a desperate need that can never quite be filled. It leaves you doubting and unable to completely trust anyone. Numb would be a good description. We will willingly fill it with what makes us numb to the pain. As an adult, the rejection from those that raise you, leaves you in a confused state questioning everything and everyone around you.  It rocks you to your core when it happens. Your heart breaks into a million little pieces shattered and blown in the wind, lost. 

It does not have to happen all at once. Parents believe by staying together for the "kids" sake, is the way to go. What do the kids really see? Can one truly hide a heart that is filled with broken dreams?

Will the kids learn that there is no joy when it comes to love or see it as a sacrifice?

What about the kids that take care of their parents? Drug addiction, alcoholism, and depression affect many adults today. What are those children learning about love? That they need to be the hero? That love will handle it all?

Abuse. Verbal or physical abuse will give an unhealthy look at love. Being told you are not good enough, being second choice, compared to others, and never hearing the words I love you will teach a lesson in love that will stay with them for years. They will understand that love comes at a price. That price will cost dearly.

Adults unable to give their hearts so easily have been shown that theirs is not worth giving.

Love is obtainable. We just need to find the one that will show us that everything we ever learned about love, is nothing we ever thought it could possibly be.

"In the end, we just want someone that chooses us...over everyone else, under any and all circumstances."  

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Grasshopper to Jackie...Can you hear me????

This is a photo of my visitor during my lunch break today. The Grasshopper. Yesterday I was sitting in my van at the bus stop waiting for my daughter.  It was a nice day and I had my windows opened. All of a sudden there was this bird that flew into the side of my van and  it cause the bird to let go of the grasshopper it was holding. The grasshopper landed on my passengers seat for a moment and then it jumped out the window. It happened so fast I didn't get a pic.

So two days in a row, it had to mean something. I googled the meaning of the grasshopper:

"When the grasshopper appears to us we are being asked to take a leap of faith and jump forward into a specific area of life without fear. Usually that specific area is one that we have avoided and is often connected to change on a larger scale. This can represent a change in location, relationships, career or just in the way we perceive ourselves.

Grasshoppers can only jump forward....not backward, or sideways. So, when grasshopper shows up he could be reaffirming to you that you are taking the right steps to move forward in your current situation. Or it could be that he is telling you to go ahead and move forward, getting past what is hindering you. This is why grasshopper is the symbol of good luck all over the world. Grasshopper's ability to connect and understand sound vibrations is why he is also a symbol of your inner voice. he could be telling you to trust yours."

If you are a regular follower of my blog, you know that I believe there is a reason for everything. Now if you read my blog from 10/13--Right-side up or Upside down??, you will see that this is just another confirmation for me. The word Perspective came to me a week ago. Now I am seeing grasshoppers. I get it. Loud n Clear. Message received.

You may think it was just coincidence but nope. I have been struggling with something and couldn't figure it out. God, the universe, or whatever you choose to believe, has guided me to my answer.

Whether I choose to act on it, is up to me but I am not sure what else could be sent my way. I mean a word was sent. Then an insect. I dare not imagine what could be next......

I think that when we are in need and answer is given. It is given in a way that we will understand it. When we are in touch with our intuitive side, the answers are easily discovered. I didn't look for it. Actually, I just let the issue be and did nothing about it.

Gut instincts, just knowing, and however it is that you believe all come from somewhere.

Coincidences are little connections to you. There are reasons for everything.

Clear your mind and let go of all the unnecessary things that get you off track.

And who knows you just might get the answer you need.

Grasshopper Out!


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Fate is waiting..........

We tend to think that once we have learned our lessons from our past mistakes, we are over it. Seldom is that the case.  Most of the time it is good. It allows us to be wiser with our future choices.

What happens when we are so anxious about repeating the same mistake again? We become less trusting in ourselves and with others. Second guessing what is in front of us with doubt causes us to not see clearly the truth of what is right in front of us. Leading us to lose those around us and miss out on wonderful opportunities that would create the future we want, instead of the one we have.

Fate, connections and what lies ahead of us can only be obtained if we trust first in ourselves, in those around us and then the future that comes from it. So much easier said than done.

We may not realize that we are doing anything to block us from getting what we want in the first place. Here is an example:

Jill was in a bad relationship and her heart was broken and much more. When she finally wised up, she left him and she thought she buried the past. She wasn't able to trust anyone and that was fine with her. She met Bill and he was sincere. Bill tried so many times to get her to believe in him and she couldn't. Bill poured his heart out to her and she simply allowed him to walk away because every time she tried to tell him the words he wanted to hear, she couldn't form them. Her heart couldn't let go of the past pain it endured. She told her mind that this was the only way to protect her heart from ever enduring that kind of pain again. But it didn't stop with her personal relationships. Her career could of been so much more. A more that she wanted. When you do not look with a healed heart into your future, you lead your future with an eschewed view. How can she obtain the career she wants if there is pain in her heart?

You see our minds might be willing to let go but it is in our hearts that can we hold on to the pain of the memory.

Betrayal, heart breaks, and all the other pains that our hearts suffer through cannot be erased simply by our minds. True forgiveness can only happen if we are willing to heal our hearts from the pain that broke it.

Wisdom comes from a heart that has been healed completely. You will know this has happened when you are able to completely let the memory of the pain go and live with wisdom instead of an anxiousness that will stop you from living your future as it was meant to be lived.

Do not think this is possible? Then that will tell you that you are not ready to let go or want to be healed.

Love n success can and will happen to you.  Let go of your anxiousness that your feel. Trust in yourself. Bad things happen to all of us with no rhyme or reason. Allow that connection that you cannot let go of to lead you to your healing. You do know what you have to do, your just afraid.

Stop running away. Fate is waiting for you to heal yourself so that you can finally have the life you deserve.

Your future is waiting.....What are you going to do about it?





Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

!@#$ I am wicked mad!!!!!!! I mean hurt.......

Fact: an angry woman is a dangerous one. Chances are she is hurt. Feelings are a volatile thing, especially for women. I can't say that because I a man.

Fact: an angry man is a dangerous one. Chances are he is hurt. Feelings are a volatile thing, especially for men.  I can't say that because I am a woman.

So where does that leaves us? It leads to all of the miscommunication and arguments that occur between men and women. If the wrong thing is said, it will just hurt us and fuel the anger even more.

This has been a debate forever and no real solution is to be found. There is a good reason. Each woman and man, although basically the same, are different. What sets off one, will roll off another's back. One loves to talk and the other would rather not.
There is no gender specific roll for the following statements:

One might have many situations going on and your the unlucky one gets the wrath of it all.
One is so untrusting that they always expect the worst, so when it happens they say nothing.
One may be so stressed out that they lash out to everything.
One might love to talk and express their feelings about everything and do so freely.
One is a giver.
One is a taker.
One is in touch with their feelings.
One is not.
It hurt me when you did that.

I think it is based on personality rather than gender. Women have characteristics that men do not and visa versa. We all know strong women who can rock it better than some men. We all know strong men that can rock it better then some women.  The same can be said about sensitivity and many other traits.

Words and actions can and will hurt feelings. Our reactions should be based on personality rather than gender.

Regardless of your beliefs think about this for a moment:

Woman was formed from a rib that was man. We are one. It is up to us to find each other. We are meant to balance each other out. Created for one another.

Evolution formed man and woman. Formed them as a pair to be matched for each other.  We are meant to balance each other out. Created for one another.

So the next time you can't understand why your partner is pissed off, do not assume he is just being a guy and she is just being a girl.

Chances are their feelings are hurt and badly. Most of the time anger is a gut reaction because they do not know how to get past the anger or the anger has to play out.

We both can be idiots and not want to make the first move. Sometimes we need to swallow our pride and just do it. If the person has any value to you, it is worth the vulnerability.

Do not let someone walk away because you are too proud to admit it hurts you too.

Please do not EVER say, "Why can't you just communicate with me!" Unless of course you want them to shut up forever.

Please do not EVER say, "Why are you being so emotional about this?" Unless of course you want to start World War III. All I can say to you is, Good Luck and you will be missed!!

Recognize what is going on with your partner/person whom you are arguing with first. It is difficult to determine if a person is truly hurt or truly angry.  It will determine the outcome.




Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Right-side up or Upside down??????????

I have been coming across this word A LOT lately. I gather it is something I am not seeing, that I need too. You guys know that I believe there are reasons for everything. Nothing just happens. Things keep popping up into life that we need to deal with.

Anyways, it got me thinking, a lot. I have these conversations with friends that are off the chain. They just happen. They are topics that range from A to Z and 1-100000000000. Everything under the sun and then some. I love each and everyone of them.

I love them because they each have a different perspective that they bring to me. I am able to see things from their perspective and get where they are coming from. Sometimes it makes me see things differently and sometimes it just confirms what I believe that much more. It truly is all good.

Except, this word keeps popping up in my life. Work situations, home situations, shopping, and seriously everywhere I go it seems. Then I see this word again, upside down and then it hits me.

My perspective of me is upside down. I am my own worse critic. I am judged by myself and very harshly I will add, especially when I judge no one. When it comes to me, I have a horrible perspective. I challenge myself to do more. Accept life's challenges as they are. Fight when I have to. Back down when I don't want to. Sometimes I think I could do more. Tried harder. 

The funny things is, if someone came to me asking my perspective on things they have done, that are exactly what I have been doing, I would be a lot more compassionate towards them. I would be their cheerleader and try my best to inspire them to be the best that they can be/or gave everything they could and they would believe it. 

I also realized that we all can be like this toward ourselves. We all want to be the best that we can be at whatever we do. Whoever we are with. We all have an image of our self. How we want to be. How good we are in all that we do. I think we strive for this in various degrees throughout our lives.

So what happens when we accomplish what we set out to do? Do we see that we are still pushing ourselves so hard to get where we are, we can't see we got there?  That we are holding on and killing it at the same time. That it is everything that we strived for and it is time to enjoy it a bit.

It is good to strive for something. Regardless if it is a personal or professional goal, we need to remember to have the perspective we use as wisdom for others, as wisdom for ourselves.

Keeping our perspective towards ourselves, right-side up, is the best perspective one can have.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

He still has my heart and soul.......

I was in love with this actor and show!! I was 8 when is started. Sadly it only lasted for 4 years. Colonel Steve Austin (Lee Majors) and The Six Million Dollar Man had my heart and soul for one hour every week!! I had the bionic center, action figure, board game and many other accessories. And yes, I just admitted that!!

I was flipping through the channels tonight and this was on!  As I watched this show, btw I still think Lee Majors is very handsome and oh so charming, I realized how corny this show is now.  We are talking back in 1974 when it first appeared. The bionic stunts, sounds and action scenes of the show cannot compare to anything that is on TV now. The acting is solid albeit some of the lines are definitely corny. The clothing, well Steve Austin can wear a suit and well, but it was the 70's.  The cars, definitely wicked!!

Okay, so I am getting caught up with my memories and excitement from my childhood. That is the point for this post. As a child, I thought this show was totally cool!! Steve Austin was cool, the story lines were action packed and he always caught the bad guys.  What more could a little girl want? We tend to set the bar high when we are little. We see things as being perfect in every way. We haven't even begun to understand life at such a young age. We tend to believe what we see. Even if it is make believe.  Then we grow up and become adults.

We realize that the shows we once loved were actually a bit corny and so was the era we lived in.  Things change, as they should, and we grow up. We lose that childlike admiration and gain the reality of adulthood.  We now know what fantasy is, good acting, good affects, and our tastes change.

Unfortunately, we lose that childlike vision and become harsh adults compared to our younger selves. We have responsibilities and people who depend on us. We tend to think that what we once imagined what our adult life would be like, was just foolish childlike thinking.

As adults we realize that we cannot be in love with a movie star. Sometimes the bad guys do win. The Innocence of childhood is in fact long gone. Actors are just actors and they are human like we are. I do know that even when the six million dollar man threw that football, no way should it of broken a rifle in half. I also do know that as an 8 year old girl, I did not appreciate the scene when Steve Austin was running away and the sprinkles came on and his shirt was torn and wet. Definitely a risqué move for the 70's.

I guess what I am trying to say is, life comes in moments. In these moments we have certain perspectives. Perspectives change as do life moments. Can we get back the same perspective once we lost it? My mind tells me no. My childhood memories tell me yes.

It all depends on what we are willing to see when we are looking at what this life's moment is bringing us.

Do we choose to see the good? Do we realize that we are in a moment with only one perspective? Have we allowed our perspective to change so much so that we cannot appreciate the moment we are in?

I think we need to keep some of that childhood perspective as we grow into adulthood. We need to keep things light sometimes. We need not to take ourselves so seriously. Learn to appreciate the moment we are in instead of rushing on to the next one.

Appreciate the perspective of the past in order to truly enjoy the present moment we are in.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview