How strong are you?

Forgiveness. Such a hard word to come to terms with. An action that takes strength to accomplish.

Are you strong enough to forgive?
Are you strong enough to forgive someone who does not seek your forgiveness?
Do you have what it takes to forgive?

What does forgiveness really mean to you?

Think about this for a moment before you answer.

How easy is it for you to forgive someone who cuts you off on the road while driving? You may not even think about it. You may lean on your horn, flip them the bird or use some derogatory words. Then you continue about your drive. You have let it go. You have forgiven them.

What about when your shopping? Someone is rude to you. You again may make a comment and continue about your day. You have let it go. You have forgiven them.

How do you treat co-workers? Someone upsets you. A co-workers isn't doing their fair share of the work load, giving you more work to do. How do you handle that?

A loved one lies to you or treats you badly. What do you do?

Obviously when it is someone we do not care deeply for, we are not too offended, and find it easy to forgive them for their actions against us. A loved one, well that is a different story entirely.

Personal feelings get in the way, most of the time, when we have to forgive someone we love. We are shocked and offended when someone we love hurts us, deeply. We take it personally. But is that the right way to feel when forgiving someone?

Regardless if we love them or not, we tend to questions their motives. What caused them to hurts us? Were they trying to protect us or themselves?  What were they thinking?

I could go on and on with examples and such, but it doesn't matter. Really the reasoning they need your forgiveness does not matter at all. Yes, that's right, it doesn't.

A strong person forgives easily. Why? A strong person knows that we are all human and make mistakes. That they themselves are not perfect and will need forgiveness for themselves. Over thinking it. Taking it too personally. That is the problem.

It is normal to react in the moment. Anger is a normal reaction when we are hurt. We tend to react with our emotions first and then use our brains later. As a person who wears her heart on her sleeve, I react within the moment. I am hot headed. A major flaw I have. I am a passionate person. It is hard for me not to react with a passion to anything, good or bad. I am not perfect and I always choose to forgive someone because of that fact alone.

Then the unthinkable happened to me. It doesn't matter what it was. It changed me. It affected me deeply. I was put in a position where I had to decide to forgive two people who are not sorry for hurting me. For having unreasonable expectations of me. For not giving me unconditional love. How in the world do you forgive the way someone thinks?

I thought I was a strong person. I was numb. I withdrew. I thought. I came to this conclusion. I am not perfect and I choose to forgive people because of that fact. That didn't change.  And because of that, forgiveness does not mean I allow myself to continue to be hurt by these people. I had to let them go. Forgiveness means that I have let it go. For me.

We cannot control how people will treat us. Good or bad. We cannot allow not forgiving them to alter us. The burden of holding on to anger, grudges, wrongs, weigh heavily on us, not them.

Their reasons do not matter. Do they show true remorse? Their actions will determine if we continue to allow their behavior in our lives.

Forgiveness is about us not them.

I will not allow it to change me ever again, no matter how personal. I can take a hit from any angle and I will forgive.

I am stronger than anything that can hurt me.

Are you?

Until next time
~It is what it is~