First, you have to understand me. Random conversations turn into deep thought provoking ones. I can bring of a sense of security, comfort and ease to people that allows them to share their personal thoughts or problems with me. They happen in the most natural way and take on a life of it's own. I don't necessarily feel a deep personal connection with the person, it can be random. Honestly they are intimate conversations that best friends would have, but sometimes we are not. I believe they are conversations that are fated to be. I believe that we are connected in different degrees for a reason. Hopefully this explains me a bit better.
This conversation started 2 weeks ago and has turned into several different topics. I am humbled by the honesty that is given to me freely. The first topic was based on self gratification and the affect it can have on relationships.
We live in a world that is so superficial at times, that it is hard to know what is real and what isn't. It can seem so real in the moment but how do we know it is realism in the truest form?
Self gratification. We live in a world that has become the motto. Me me me. How far does it really go? This may seem way to personal for some of you, but hold your disdain because this does lead to somewhere of value. I was asked to blog about it. I have chosen the modest route in conveying the conversation.
There was a group of us talking and the question was posed if we self-gratify ourselves in the intimate sense. Then the conversation continued on:
If you answer yes to self-gratification and you are in a committed relationship, who do you think of when performing the task?
Is it your partner? Is it a fantasy person who is unobtainable? Like a movie/rock star etc...
Is it someone you know?
Regardless of who or what you think of, Do you consider it to be cheating??
The case for both sides were made.
The case for NO: It was a purely physical response of ones needs. Not focused on a particular person of knowledge. A form of Stress Management. A perfectly natural thing to do.
The case for YES: Done with a person of knowledge declares a definite crossing of the lines. Not willing to wait. Could lead to severe issues within the relationship.
All agreed it was a personal choice to be made, No right or wrong answer can be given.
As I sat down to blog about this, this perspective came to me that I will leave you with:
Out of the 12 people asked if they did, 9 said yes and 3 said no. The no answers were, it doesn't give the same satisfaction for them. Just not something that they do. It ruined a relationship.
I could take the nine yes as being selfish in a societal way. A society that is already all about Me Me Me. If we are willing to take things into our own hands (no pun intended) for personal satisfaction, what does that say about us as a society? That we are not willing to wait for things to happen, so we do it ourselves? That we have more regard for our own needs than others?
How can we truly be a free world if we are so self-centered all the time? What message are we sending our youth that will be running the world one day?
You may think that this line of thinking is a stretch of the imagination, but is it really? All is well that ends well. Chaos has to begin somewhere.
There is an old saying that goes, "Charity begins in the home".
I think the question should not of been, do you consider it to be cheating on your partner, but do you consider it to be a selfish act? And how do you let that form who you are?
Until next time,
~It is what it is~
No comments:
Post a Comment