Do you remember?

I love the feeling of being so free. The ocean, sand, and sun, do that for me.  Being at the beach brings me an inner peace like nothing else.

I went with the kids to our favorite beach today. Beautiful day, huge waves and lots of sun. We rode the waves, explored, relaxed, saw a baby shark and had a picnic.

I taught my daughter how to ride the waves and a boogie board today, as I did with my boys when they were younger. We had so much fun. She kept wiping out in the beginning. I told her that we should take a break for a bit. She responded with, "No, I just need to push through, it is what it is. Let's do it again."

She reminded me the perspective of being a kid. If your having fun, your having fun, why stop?

I love days like today. They are great reminders that every once in a while we need to put the adult stuff aside and act like a kid again.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~

Actually......

Actually people can change for a number of reasons. People can be fake. People will show you a side that they only want you to see.

I think people eventually just show their true colors. There may be subtle flags along the way but your too into the relationship to notice or you can justify the flag and dismiss it.

Sometimes they slowly change. Behaviors become more secretive, personality slowly changes and their interest in you is not what it used to be. They do not need you. Your there for their moment only. What you want doesn't matter to them. Their needs are being met and that is all there is to the relationship.

To try and comfort someone who goes through this really isn't possible. They have to go through it on their own. I told this person that sometimes people just put on an act of not being selfish. Flags were there but people don't change who they are for long. Their personality slips here and there. I think when you love someone unconditionally, you just accept them for who they are. If you believe your needs are being met than you can accept the bad with the good. I think that's why you don't see the bad as being really bad. It is more of a "Nobody's Perfect" kinda deal.

Let's face it, we are all human and each have our own quirks. We all want to find someone who can accept us, fully, unconditionally, quirks n all. So when we start keeping track of the flags and hurts they bring, it is time to accept them for who they are. Very rarely do people change their personality very much. Bringing it to their attention and then their behavior changes only for a time. Tells you it is never going to change. Ever. The decision is up to you. Should allow yourself to continue depends on what you feel you deserve. If your thinking that you deserve better than leave. If you can put up with whateva it is, (to be clear here if you are being abused emotionally or physically run out that door, now!!) Then ask yourself why you are willing to give that up? Is what you are getting really enough to last forever?

Believe you deserve the best love story, because you most certainly do. Regardless what type of relationship it is, everyone deserves to be treated with love n respect. Period. Do not allow them to tell you how you should feel.

Sometimes people need a wake up call and do just that when you point out what's buggin you. Misunderstandings can be a relationship killer for sure. Sometimes people are going through their own thing, independent of you and just didn't realize what an ass they have become. We tend to take things out on the person we love the most sometimes.

And sometimes we can see only what we want to see. When someone no longer loves you the way they did in the beginning, then it wasn't real, Real love withstands all hardships and joys.

Remember, anything worth having, is so worth the effort. Just be sure they are making an effort too.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~



***I know. Unbelievable that I came across this. It has to mean something!!***

There will be a Rainbow...

Storms do not care if you are strong, weak, or already have too much on your plate. They will be unpredictable and sometimes fierce.

It is difficult to see past the storm we are in.  The storm can be so relentless that we may even feel like just giving into it by allowing it to consume us. 

We often make the storm worse by not remembering what anchors us. We forget that we do have our circle. People who are willing to lend support. Praying to what we believe in. A place to go, to let it all go. An activity that will release the pressure we are feeling. 

We need to do these things, so we can face the storm with a renewed strength when it seems unbearable. We can become so caught up in the storm itself, we do not remember that the storm is a temporary thing and will eventually end.

Storms will come and go but how we handle them, will determine when we see the rainbow.

Until then, do what you need to do to survive it. 

The rainbow always comes out at the end of the storm. Showing us that it is in fact over and you did survive it. 

Survive it you will, never doubt that.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

$1.58 is the best money you will ever spend!!!

I had errands to run today. Sometimes I go by myself. When I am tired and I worked a long day (like today) I like to go by myself, it's quicker. Let's face it, I am always tired. I was heading out the door and my daughter asked to go with me. I was like ok, but we have to do this.

She accompanied me. I like all kinds of music but my daughter is a strictly pop kind of girl.  I put the radio station she likes on and off we went. Did what I had to do. She didn't complain. I decided to pull into the QT. She was like what do you need here? I looked at her and said how about an ice cream cone? She smiles and says yes!!

For 2 vanilla ice cream cones the total was $1.58. The time spent with her, priceless!! On the drive home, I started thinking that this month has been a busy month for me and us as a family. School ending for the kids. My teenagers have stuff going on.Work has been hectic and personal stuff chaotic for me.

I spend time with my kids as much as I can. Life just gets so busy sometimes that I forget to actually stop and enjoy it. Don't get me wrong I do things with my kids. We have our adventures. But by taking Kell with me tonight and stopping to get a cone, made me realize that sometimes we all can get caught up with what's in front/around us, that we neglect those moments we need to be having with family and friends that aren't always around us.

It is not that we do not value them, we just get caught up in the here and now, that we forget we need more than the here and now.

We can't always have the attitude that if they had the time, they would call. My number hasn't changed. Or I don't want to bother them, their busy too.

What if they need an interruption to their day? What if your just what they need in that moment?

What if we think they are too busy or we don't want to bother them and they feel the same way?

If we continue to go with that way of thinking, nobody will make the time for each other.

I think we need to take the time to evaluate who is important in our lives. Who do you think you would want to make the time for you? Who do you miss? When was the last time you saw so n so?

We all have wicked busy lives. Why let that stop you from living it with the people that matter to you?

Spontaneity is a wonderful thing. So is planning. $1.58 will get you two ice cream cones.

Why wait for an invitation? Send one. Who would you like to join you?






Until next time,
~It is what it is~

To All the Dad's

This day has been set aside just for you.

May you be able to relax.

Be spoiled by the ones that call you Dad.

Spend the day with laughter and joy.

Surrounded by the ones you love.

Happy Father's Day.

Are you Willing?

I stumbled across this quote today by, Joseph Campbell.

How often do we think we have our lives figured out or planned to the T and then life has other plans for us. It can be daunting and very frustrating.

The simple response to life would be just to go with it when things change. For some of us, it's easier said then done.

We like to be in control of our lives for many reasons. But we need to ask ourselves if those reasons are valid enough to stop us from living our lives. We need to be sure the reasons we do not want to change our path is not from our personality, insecurity, fear, holding on to what we know, or stubbornness.

We may have a controlling personality. Did you ever ask yourself why that is? Maybe you know the answer already. Most times it's because we have had our life thrown into unexpected chaos. Could be that we grew up having to control our own circumstances because everything and everyone around us was out of control. We were the calm that everyone else needed. So we learned to control our circumstances around us. How can we learn to let go and let life be what it is, if we only know one way to live?

We tend get complacent with life. We feel that we are content. What if we are capable of so much more? Is holding on to the life we know worth missing out on what life could be for us?

Stubbornness is really our inability to see things from another perspective. We may feel that we know what's best and that is that. How can we possibly know what is best for us if we are not willing to at least try to view life from another perspective?

Fears have the right to stop us. If you feel that the reason for your fear is valid. Depending on what the fear is. But is it worth allowing the fear to stop us from living?

Our personality, stubbornness, holding on and fear IS what's stopping us from living our lives to the fullest. Our reasons are just excuses we tell ourselves. Time does heal all wounds but its also makes us smarter when we are completely healed. Smart enough to see things for how they really were and definitely smart enough not to make the same mistakes that derailed us in the first place.

We need to accept the fact that life does change our path and unless we are willing to leave the path we were on, go, we will never know what life has in store for us. We maybe missing out on the best version of us if we don't let it all go and let life take us in a new direction, reacquaint us with the things we need or give us the life we truly deserve.

I ask you, are you willing to let life be, wherever it takes you?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~ 

What is a Soulmate to you?

Soulmate~A person with whom you have a strong affinity.

Affinity~A natural liking for or attraction to person, etc.

Attraction~A person or thing that draws, allures, entices.

Allure~To fascinate: charm.

Fascinate~To attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, or unusual nature.

I find that the definition of the soulmate does not say, "with whom you love like no other, rather it does say, "affinity".  Soulmate doesn't mention love. Affinity, attraction, allure, and fascinate do not either. I decided to look up the word Love and see what it really means.

Love~A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Okay. Let's try passion then.

Passion~Any powerful or compelling emotion, as love or hate.

hmmm....Passion as in love or hate. Does this mean that true loves passion is to bring out every emotion in us? Maybe to the point of bringing us to the verge of hating the same person we love? Not hating exactly, more like this soulmate of ours will make us feel everything that we have to feel with a passion we never knew we had inside us. Good or Bad.

Everyone wants to believe that we will end up with our soulmate. We want the perfect relationship for us and we want it to last forever. Peaches n Cream. Romance. Fun. Adventures. Passion. Laughter. Perfection.

Is that enough to make it last forever? Can it be that easy? I don't know about you but, nothing in life worth having is easy. How about those Roses n Thorns? Don't we want it all in a partner? Our perfect match. I think that it means our soulmate brings us the perfect mix of peaches, roses, cream, and yes, thorns.

What does all this mean? It means that you are with someone who loves you unconditionally and for all that you are. There is an unexplained draw between the two of you. Not for completeness in each other but a feeling of emptiness without each other.

The person who doesn't agree with all of your decisions. They challenge all of your decisions. They make you question things.  They give you a new perspective. They give you truth when no one else will. They will make you take stock of your life. They will push your buttons, and sometimes will do it willingly. Regardless how annoying it may be. They may even take a little joy in that.

They support who you are. What you do. They inspire you to be all that you can be. They give you strength. They do not ask you to change who you are. They do not ask you to put aside things for them. They do the dishes when you are too tired. They do not keep a score card. Things are done with love and an ease. Never to be used against you.

They allow you to uncover all of your dark edges and hold them tenderly with you. They see you. They love you for it all. Dark edges, brilliant mind, giving heart, and the peace you hold inside that they give you. Size, shape, color, age and how your soul is packaged, is of no concern to them.

A soulmate's concern is of you. Doing the best for you and them. Having your back. Patience. Understanding.

Some believe that they are our match that was made before we even existed. They come into our lives as they if were fated to be there.

Does that mean they will be our significant other for the rest of our lives? Hopefully, but not all the time. We often do not see what is presented in front of us.  Even when it is smacking us in the face. We are too distracted at the moment, too scared of it or maybe they were to show us what could be if we dared.

Some believe we have many or they come as our dearest best friend, whom we could not do without.

One that, if your lucky enough, will be with you doing all of the above until you take your last breath. And that, to me, would be the true definition of a Soulmate.


Until next time,
~It is what it is~

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say.....

By now, all of you know how much music is a part of my life. I love this song, not cause of the minions,(Although it helps :) ) but its truth. When we are happy nothing can bring us down! Colors seem sharper, the air is fresher, and even our troubles seem so minor!! We feel we can accomplish anything and everything!!

So I need to ask, Are you Happy like that?

I asked myself this question too. I didn't realize how loaded it could be, I mean I really asked myself.

Think about this for a moment. These are the top Happy questions I came up with:

Are you Happy in your career?

Are you Happy with the people in your circle?

Are you Happy when you see others Happy?

Are you Happy where you live?

Are you Happy with the choices you made that have put you where you are in this moment?

Are you Happy emotionally?

Are you Happy financially?

Are you Happy with your life?

I know right? I can certainly change your perspective when listening to a song now, can't I?

The things is, unless we are completely happy, will not be a peace within ourselves until we are 100 percent happy. That means with everything in our life. Yes we can go through the motions and find happiness in some things that we have or do but how long will that last?

Ask yourself are you sabotaging your own happiness? Is fear holding you back? Too many responsibilities keeping you from making a change? Don't think you can? Don't believe there is a difference?

Then think again. When we are not truly happy we miss out on everything life has to offer us. We become drones to life. Following along and just existing.

What ever your reasons are, be sure that they are good enough to stop you from being truly happy.

Take time to really reflect on what is making you unhappy first.

I think it is hard to really be open with yourself and not expect to see some dark edges that we have. We can be ugly at times. It is not perfection that makes us happy though. I have said before that life can be messy.

We need to remember that. Even in complete chaos we can find happiness.

We can do anything and everything when we are Happy.

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
                      Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
                      Because I'm happy.........


Until next time,
~It is what it is~

This one's for YOU.

I was given a question that surprised me, by who it came from. It made me think that we really do not know a person until that person decides to share themselves with you.

This is a personal response. I asked this person if it was okay to give my answer here. They agreed. I asked to do this because we just never know what a person is really going through. The strongest person we may know could be slowly dying emotionally inside. The weakest person may be the strongest person someone else has.  Thank you for trusting me and for allowing my answer to be given here.

I saw this and knew that you needed to see it too.

Hope. Believing in yourself is having hope. What do you do when you no longer feel worthy? Self esteem is so complex but simple. Hope should not be dependent on others belief in you. Yes that is what I said. You and only you, should be able to trust yourself enough to know you who are.

Unfortunately, many people feel the need to get approval, from others, in order for them to believe in themselves. Insecurities, is really the issue here. When did you stop believing in yourself? Why did you let the world tell you how to feel about yourself?

Were you rejected on your thoughts? Appearance? Behavior? Rejected just for being you? 

Well get over it!! You are meant to be you. You are meant to be you. You are meant to be you.

Not everyone is meant to get you. I would rather have one friend than 1000 fake ones. 1000 jobs in order to find the right one for me. Live in 1000 places before finding my home. You are the maker of your life. You get to decide what you choose to do. You get to decide that you are worthy!!

When did you give others the power over you?

Nothing FAKE will ever last. Sometimes we go through, what seems like forever, mistake after mistake. That will make you want to give up, That will make you question your worthiness. Patience. Trust in yourself. Have HOPE that you will believe in yourself completely one day.

Believe that the STRENGTH you feel I have, you can obtain. I wasn't born this strong. Life's circumstances made me this strong. There are times when I certainly want to just throw in the towel and give up. Yes you read that right. I do.

BUT I don't. How nice life would be if I could just sit back and let someone else fight my battles for me. Than who would I be? I would not be me. I wouldn't of learned that when life knocks me down, I have the right to fight for my spot. That I have to be the one to fight battles for those in my life that can't. That I have the strength to do it. I can endure a lot before I want to give in.  That I can admit when I am weak and need help. That when I do not get it, I learn just how much stronger I can be. That life is not fair. That I had to make choices or they would have made me into someone else.

That I have accepted who I am in my life. Who I am to my family and friends. That I do not care about those that don't get me or believe in me.  They do not matter. They do not matter. Period.

Even those that I love, do not matter. Ultimately, it is my decision to believe that I am worthy. Period.

It is up to you to believe that you deserve to be in this world. This life. That you have the right to have HOPE. You have the right to believe you are WORTHY. 

YOU have the right because you were given life. Regardless how you came into this world, YOU are worthy. It is that simple.

I never judge. I will always be here for you, regardless. When I say that I love you, I mean it. Period. I can't just unlove someone because they do not feel worthy or have lost hope in themselves. I don't give my love easily, so when I do, know that I never intend to take it back. EVER. Regardless. 

I am here always.

And that,

~It is what it is~

Tis The Season.....

We all go through many seasons throughout our lifetime. Each season brings new us understanding of life.

  Here are my interpretations of Life's Seasons:

The New Beginnings Season- This season is when we are learning new things.  It can be about a new relationship, career, seeing things for the first time or seeing something old in a new way. It is a season of new discoveries and challenges that we see in a childlike way. These things can bring out so much excitement or passion in us. It will teach us things that we never knew we were capable of doing. We learn that when are not afraid we can accomplish so much more than we thought we could. It will inspire us. 

The Comfortable Season- Can be a blessing at times. There is a certain amount of pleasure given when we know we have a career that fulfills us. Loved ones at home waiting to share in our lives. Comfort can bring us the security we need in life, to just simply enjoy life. We are building a strong foundation. Going with the flow of life. We will be planting seeds for our future.

The Mad Season- This season is when we question everything that life has to offer us. Our careers, relationships and what we value in life. We can want to seek new challenges, a new lifestyle and new relationships. Learn the value of the ones in our circle. Who and what we give our time. Who and what to let go of. Push ourselves to see how far we can actually grow. Putting everything we have learned to build a new and stronger version of ourselves. It can become a roller coaster of a ride but a most enjoyable one at that!! Certainly we will be testing our foundation and we may find a few cracks that we accept or want to change. We will reinforce our foundation during this chaotic time. We will definitely be stronger and wiser. We will truly know who we are. What we are capable of and what we are not. 

The Golden Season - Is when we have come to terms with the life we built ourselves. We are enjoying our foundation. We no longer want to seek anything. We we are living a content life. We will spend our time guiding those in other seasons. Taking time to smell the roses that we have planted. Simply it is a time to rejoice and enjoy the foundations we have built during the other seasons. We are at peace with life and ourselves completely.

There are  no age guidelines for each season. They are meant to be lived as we see it.

We may have to repeat a season, more than once, to finally understand that life, ~it is what it is~, will always be life but how it is meant for us and what we do with it, is the reason for the season we are in.

My personal favorite is the Mad Season. The one I seem to be forever repeating.

Which season are you in?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

Please, save a seat for me....

You can see someones behavior, result of their behavior and everyone around you is like, what are you talking about? 

So you just stop talking.

Someone doesn't do their fair share of the workload. Your the go to person. Or the one who gets dumped on to finish the load. You got a problem with that?

So you stop complaining and just get it done.

Certain "rules" only apply to you. What? It's the way your looking at it.

So you just deal with it.

Your treated one way and then all of a sudden, it changes and your the problem, not them. Why? What are you saying? I don't agree.

So you walk away not knowing how you got involved with them in the first place.

You suddenly realize that there are certain people who do not care as much as they say they do about you. You become aware that they are just using you. No, it's not like that at all.

So you just walk away and they made you feel like the jerk.

Your vehicle needs major repairs and you just put a deposit on your vacation. 

So you decide to cut your vacation short.

Just had your carpets cleaned. Not even a week and there is a new stain.

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh.

You know what? That is the reality of life. There are times when everything seems to be going wrong. You just want to sit in the dark and be left alone with your thoughts.  Nobody sees what you see or gets it like you do.  You feel left alone in the dark and that is just fine with you.

Your not alone. Not by a long shot.

The next time you are overwhelmed or life just isn't going your way.  And you just want to take a time out.  Please save a seat for me. I will be right there with you, sitting in the dark.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

ew, people

Love 'em, hate 'em, like 'em, put up with 'em, find happiness with some, dislike 'em, tolerate 'em, or however else you feel about all of them, we have to deal with all of them.

It can be so overwhelming at times, can't it?

Sometimes their "Good Intentions" can be rather annoying, aren't they?

When they think they are helping and actually, they are making it worse.

Don't even get me started on the fake ones, you will be reading for years, literally. Especially when they think they are being so smooth, but do not realize that they just let something slip about themselves.

Moody people, people who are playa's, selfish people, demanding ones, obnoxious people, toxic people, rude people, controlling people, and your good ole fashion malicious one's.

Sometimes it feels like life is filled with all the wrong people.

It can be hard to find the right people to fill our circle. Sad isn't?

Today's world is too busy bein about themselves that they can't even realize they are mass producing the ew, people  of tomorrow.

I would hope that if you recognize yourself as an ew, person, you will snap out of it immediately.

There is no solution other than to continue to deal with them and stay true to who we are, always.

We should thank all the ew, people in our lives. Past and present included. For we owe them.

We have learned who we do not want to become, ever.

Ew, people.

Until next time,
~it is what it is~

The Rose

Do you remember your first heartbreak? Some of us can and others, well it has happened so much so, that we don't, we can only remember the last time it was broken. It is sad that we have been hurt so many times that we have no choice but to put up walls protecting us. When someone new comes along, they want to peel back the layers or knock down these walls we have built up. 

Ever wonder why it is so hard for them to do?

An excerpt into a person's broken heart: 

I am tired of pretending to care. To go through this dance of getting to know each other. I know how it will end. I will give way too much of myself and you will not like what you see. I cannot risk having my heart broken one more time. I just wanted to be loved, for who I am. I wanted to feel alive again. I wanted to feel sexy again. I just wanted to feel wanted again. I wanted to hand you my broken pieces for you to keep in a safe place. You didn't have to put them back together, just accept them.  I wanted to look at you and know that I was finally home.

I will reinforce my walls. I will suppress the need to feel loved. I will move on. I will live without being loved until I can no longer remember what it is like to be loved.

                                                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

To you trying to break down the walls:

Think the next time you want to break down someones wall. Think about what you are doing to them. Where they have been. How hard it is for them to let go and give you their heart. They are not fighting you, they are protecting their own heart. 

Some are so broken, that they cannot see the love in your eyes. They have buried their hearts so deeply, they are terrified of giving it out again. Do not underestimate your power you give them. Patience. A thousands times again and then again. When they finally do give you their heart, it will be the best love story ever written.

To you with the broken heart:

It saddens me that it has been broken so many times, that you feel you do not deserve to be loved. I am fighting back the tears that I want to shed with you. I am so sorry that you feel broken inside. I can only tell you that you need to be braver than you have ever been in your entire life right now. You can open your heart again. There is a great love waiting for you. You are lucky. You can trust again. You have forgotten that with each time you felt broken, you have become stronger. You know this. You know there is that shimmer of hope telling you that you want to let go this time. Trust you. Trust that this is the time. You are strong enough. You are You.

Regardless of your past. Regardless of how many times your heart has been demolished. You are so worthy of being loved. I know this. I know you. I have been you.

You no longer have to stay buried so deep in the snow. You no longer have to be afraid.

You are The Rose.

I do so love you. And yes, I am talking directly to You.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~