This can leave you shattered in a million pieces. Depending on how deeply you loved this person. I do not have to go into detail here. You guys all know how it happens. Basically, contact with this person is less and the excuses become more n more. Sometimes, it just ends. No reason given, just no more contact.
So why didn't you see this coming?
The User- These are hard to detect. They are smooth and can be charming. They will make you feel that you are the center of their world. They will do and say what you need to hear in order to get what they want from you. They may even open up a little bit about themselves, not much but enough to make you feel connected to them. Then your history, once they get what they want from you. They feel no remorse cause this is who they are. Selfish and self serving. They believe they have done no wrong, honestly, they do not.
The Snob- This person feels that they have outgrown you. Emotionally or intellectually. I think out of cowardice, they just end the relationship. No explanation given. You wouldn't understand. You have become beneath them. No words of gratitude, for sticking by their side, encouraging them along the way to become who they have become, or helping them. No guilt either. They just have no more use for you. Done.
The Faker- Another hard to detect, at least in the beginning. They pretend to be interested in you. They may even show empathy towards you. Lend a listening ear for a few moments. Then it is all about them, constantly. They will eventually stop asking how you are. What you have been up too. It is always, always about them. Again, when they get what they want, they will move on. No explanation given. Tossed aside like garbage. And forgotten just as easily.
Untrusting is who you have become. Find yourself not surrounding yourself around people? Extremely cautious meeting new people? Have doubts about a person's motive for why they like you? You have stopped allowing people to get close to you. You no longer make new friendships. The harm they cause has a lasting affect. Crushing your self confidence. Your belief that there is still good people in this world no longer.
You guys get the picture? Your first reaction is anger towards them. Rightly so, for their actions. Their behavior is completely on them.
What about your behavior? You, maybe unknowingly, have allowed this behavior. Maybe you weren't sure and wanted to see how it would play out. Maybe you didn't care. Or simply, maybe they offered you something that you had been lacking. How is your self confidence? Do you believe that you deserve better? Do you believe in yourself? Do you know your worth?
Before we can cast blame, we have to examine our actions too. What is your motive for allowing these kinds of relationships? What is lacking from your life? There had to been flags. Why did you ignore them?
I just think that sometimes, there is a reason why people come into our lives. They can be brought in to teach us a lesson that we need to learn about ourselves. Eventually, it will help us grow. As harsh as that way can be to learn a lesson, it may be the only way we can learn it. I think it is good to examine our own motives before we can blame another person for treating us badly.
I am not blaming you at all. A blindside can happen without warning. You may never get an explanation. It will have nothing to do with you and everything to do with who that person is. Sometimes it is what it is.
There is a fine line between LOVE and HATE. Please do not allow the love that you had for someone turn your heart to be filled with hatred. You could lose out on the love of your life. A friendship that will last forever. There can be a chance, that YOU were to impact that person. Maybe you are the person who has popped up in their life, as a specific lesson, just for them to learn, not you.
Life is all about learning and allowing us to grow into our full capacity. We can become complacent with the flow of life. Never challenging it. Forgetting our place in this world. Settling for less than our worth. Being that way can and will stop you from achieving your full potential.
Sometimes we need a rude BLINDSIDE to awaken us. It may be the only way we can get to where we are supposed to be in life.
Until next time,
~It is what it is~
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