What's Your Fairy-Tale Like?

I apologize for the F-word but I really liked this saying.  It spoke to me. If I was more computer savvy, I would have crossed out that word and put  "Wicked" in its place.

I, like some of you, didn't grow up dreaming of the perfect wedding, the gorgeously perfect groom/bride, and the happily ever after of a fairy-tale life story. I don't remember an exact moment that caused me to be skeptical or had a bad example of a marriage but I knew early on that life doesn't always provide a fairy-tale for hardly anyone.  Maybe it was one to many Stephen King books!!

The problem with fairy-tales is, they make you believe that love, marriage and the happily ever after are going to be perfect. The perfect wedding day, the perfect spouse, the yard with the picket fence that bring kids, pets and the perfect home.

That sometimes we don't marry the right one and it ends. We can get so busy with life, or our own issues, that we forget the vows we made to one another. Amazing how you can promise to love someone so deeply and end up forgetting the love you promised was meant to last forever.

If I ever were to write book on the perfect fairy-tale life it would read something like this:

 "What An Awesome Wicked Disaster We Are!"

My Single Days

Chp. 1

"I screwed up again, damn it! How am I ever going to get this right? Maybe if I had four arms, four legs and the foresight to see what's coming down the road, I could balance everything at once. I know I am a good person. I can multi-task. No, I didn't mean to take it out on you, I was just stressed out. Yes, that hurt, how can I trust you now? I need more time. I wanted to communicate better. I don't understand that."

We Met

Chp 2.

"I love how we can see the screw ups for what they are and let them go. In time we will get it right. We have each other and that means we each have four arms, four legs and the "foursight" to see what's coming down the road but when we can't, we will manage. We are a wicked team together, we will juggle all. We are here for us, however we need. We are not perfect, we will hurt us at times, that is what forgiveness is for. We need time for each other. We will make it a priority to always communicate. We will keep an open mind, we will do our best to understand."

Our Disastrous Happily Ever After

Chp 3.

"Years of this same behavior continued on, for many, many years. We became who we were always meant to be. Our grandchildren wondered how we stayed married to the same person for so many years. They wanted to know what was our secret . Our answer was simple:

"We saw how awesomely wickedly disastrous we could be together!"

I ask you, what's your fairy-tale like?

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

Bello!!!!

I love the Minions!! I watched the Minions prequel movie last night. This led me to a thought for this blog.

In the beginning of the movie, the Minions are searching for someone to work for. They try several things and still felt something was missing from their life. They continued searching until they thought the void was filled.  For the Minions, it was having an evil master. Soon after though, they realized she wasn't the one. At the end of the movie they accidentally run into Gru, and they just knew he was the evil master for them.

Some people can spend an entire lifetime searching for where they belong. Making stops along the way and sometimes, falling down. They either get comfortable where they end up and stop the search or they brush themselves off get up again.

What I love about the Minions is they are always happy. They get knocked down and get right back up again.  (I know they are not real, someone wrote the movie) They continue their search.

Humans tend to over think things and not listen to that little voice inside us telling us what we already know. Sometimes we just want confirmation from someone who will be honest with us. I believe that most of us already know what we are searching for. What it means to us. Where to find help getting back up after the fall.

Be like a Minion and never give up searching for where you belong. Take each moment as it comes. Do not be too sad for long and get back up when your down.

Remember to enjoy the journey. Each moment is bringing you a step closer to where you belong.

When you get to your place, there will be no doubts that this is where you belong.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

~Prince~

When the whole world has been affected by a single man, you can say that man has changed the world. He was humble. Kept his personal life private. His works of charity held private but generous. He lived a full life and seemed to do what he loved, always. He was a genius, humble, a talented musician, giving and loved by many.

Here is a snippet into his philanthropic life:

That's when Jones learned about Prince's secret other gig: philanthropist. Since Prince's death last Thursday, Jones has learned just how involved Prince was in philanthropic causes. In recent years, the artist – who worked with Jones on the organization Green for All, which creates green jobs in disadvantaged communities, and #YesWeCode, an organization that educates urban youth about technology – worked to raise awareness for movements like Black Lives Matter and sent money to the family of Trayvon Martin. Prince's ex-wife, Manuela Testolini, met him through doing philanthropic work for his foundation and he encouraged her to start her own charity; she's now building a school with her In a Perfect World organization in his memory. In a statement after his death, she described him as a "fierce philanthropist."

He then focuses on Prince's mission. "His cause is humanity," Jones says. "He cares a lot about people. Nobody went to a Prince concert and said, 'I don't belong here. I'm not black. I'm not white. I'm not cool. I'm not straight. I'm not whatever.' His cause was empowering and uplifting people. That didn't stop when he walked off the stage or out of the studio. It was a current of genius trying to move the human heart."

As an example, Jones explains how the murder of Trayvon Martin inspired #YesWeCode. While people were debating whether the 17-year-old was a "thug or a victim" and whether George Zimmerman was a "racist or a hero," in Jones' words, Prince zeroed in on the hoodie Martin wore. "He said, 'Hold on a second: If a black kid wears a hoodie, you say he's a thug, and if a white kid wears a hoodie, you say it's Mark Zuckerberg. Why is that?'" Jones recalls. "And then of course, I say, 'Because of racism.' And Prince goes, 'Well, maybe. Or maybe we just haven't produced enough black Mark Zuckerbergs. Why don't we focus on that?' Complete genius.

"He's trying to create something that everybody can dance to," he continues. "Politically, poor kids putting up solar panels? Everybody can dance to that. Kids wearing hoodies in the hood, but they're learning how to upload apps, rather than download them? Everybody can dance to that."

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/prince-the-secret-philanthropist-his-cause-was-humanity-20160425#ixzz46tVqZW9U

I think we can all learn from his life. Here was a man that could of been self-centered, greedy, selfish, and not care about the world he lived in. He chose to give back. Gain knowledge. Sought to understand how he could change the world he lived in and did.  By doing so he enriched many lives, that otherwise would of not known kindness.

Think about how Prince has changed the world we live in.

He created much more than music. He leaves behind a legacy that we can all learn from.

How will you create something that everybody can dance to?

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

Why do we need a bathroom law?

This is my opinion. No I don't care if you don't like it. I am entitled to my opinion as you are.

I know this is a volatile topic. The Bathroom Law.  What brought this up was tonight's dinner conversation with my kids. My 17yr old asked what is the big deal. His girlfriend was over also. His stance was no big deal. This is the opinion of many young adults towards this topic.  What's the big deal.

This is a big deal!!

Common sense is not prevailing here.

It is not just about transgenders using the bathroom of their choice.

Sick people live in this world.

Those people will take advantage of the situation.

The governments goal is to divide Americans not bring them together.

I get you are in transition or whatever it is, but the reality is, that this is not just about you. Also, suck it up buttercup, life is not fair. There are more pressing issues at hand, than you using a bathroom that you do not have parts for. We, as society, have given in to unrealistic demands somewhere over the years.

There are homeless, hungry, poor, abused and so much more depravity that is going on to our children in this country that seriously need our attention.

Our armed forces, fought and continue to fight for our freedoms in this country that needed to be fought for.

Do we really need to fight for this? Is it really worth putting our kids at risk?

USE THE BATHROOM THAT YOU HAVE PARTS FOR!!!

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

Is Yesterday Still A Friend?

Some songs just take you to another place. This one did for me. I started thinking about how we are different with people. When we are growing up we are trying to figure out who we are.  Then we hit college or a career and we have to become focused. We change, grow and some friends will change over the years. Some remain throughout the duration of our lifetimes.

I thought about my first boyfriend. Nothing like your first love. We were best friends before we started dating. I think that's what made it more real. We knew just about everything there was to know about each other. We had a lot of fun. "Back in our day" we would go to the arcade and get ice cream sundaes or the pizza parlor on a Friday night. Go bowling, the movies or the mall and walk n talk and people watch. We were inseparable. Fond memories of a great time. Like all good things that come to an end, so did we. We grew up and our lives took us to different paths. I wonder if we would still be best friends today, like then? How much have we really changed? Do we miss the things we enjoyed doing back then? What are our likes now?

I also thought about friends, past and present. High school friends. Friends in my early adult life. When I was first married. When I had small children. And now.

High school friends are great or horrible. As kids we can be horrible to one another. I think we had a great group of people during my time. We lost a few precious ones along the way. Losing high schools friends way to young is a life lesson I wish we were never taught in life. It was also an awkward time for most of us. Somehow we all manage to survive it, with fond memories. Sport championships,  really learning how to play music through guitar or piano, learning how to drive and all those other things we did for the first time that bonded us!! Carnivals and festivals great meeting places to have a wicked time!! We also had the Sand Dunes, Carrs Pond, and Tiogue Lake. Facebook, twitter and instagram, are greats ways to keep track of one another over the years. Who do you still know from those years?

Friends in your twenties!!! WOW!! Some interesting years and I thought high school was tough to navigate through!! LOL Good, Good, times. Starting our careers or college life. Trying to balance all this new adulty stuff. Learning who and what are/is a good influence for us. Striving for our life goals during this time, can be daunting and we need a solid circle around us. Legal drinking age. Paying bills out on our own for the first time. We learn that adult problems are a bit more intense than back in high school. We also learn who has our backs and what lengths we are willing to go to for them. Surrounding yourself with the right group for you during this time is valuable. Your circle during this time will help mold n shape you into becoming who you are. You also learn what is important to you as you head towards the dreaded 30's. Could you be friends with the same people as then now? Do you still have the same lifestyles?

Marriage and small kids friends.  They are great when we start out raising a family!! Learning what works for your family and having those friends going through similar situations is a blessing!! The laughter, tears and support are immeasurable!! Nobody was given a manual on marriage or raising a child (Bible does not tell you how to make baby cereal for the first time or what to do when your past the honeymoon stage and those cute things he/she does are not so cute anymore!! lol) Having child play-dates with parents that have the same values as us. Needing other adults in our lives to keep us sane during those years is priceless! Also to share in the milestones and joys. We may keep these friends for the rest of our lives. Our lifestyles have changed and our circle has too. Take a look at your circle now and compare it to then, what do you see?

The golden years. I hope when I get there, I have a few friends that I can count on. We can act like we are in our twenties again and come n go as we please, take the grandchildren out and spoil then rotten, and go exploring when we feel like it. Maybe we will end up in a nursing home and we will laugh at all of our adventures we have shared over the years.

The one thing I do know about friendship, is that you make the time for them effortlessly, when you carry them in your heart daily, they are a part of you just as much, if not more, than your family are. You have to give to it in order for it to survive. You do not always get what you give out in return. When it is a real friend it doesn't matter anyways. We have friends that we lose touch with for many reasons, some good and some bad. Some help us get through a rough patch or are there to share in a joyous time in our lives.

We can not control who walks in or out of our lives, but we can make an impact while they are with us. Each friend brings something out in us. How we are with them leaves a mark. What would we change? What can we be proud of? What do we want to forget? Do we need to forgive? What do you want them to remember about you?

So, I ask you this, Is yesterday still a Friend?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

There is YOU....

You are AMAZING!! You are ENOUGH!! You are BRILLIANT!! You are BEAUTIFUL!!!

You are YOU!!

There is not another human, on this entire planet, that can be you!!

You should not care what anyone has to say to that.

Life can be difficult at times.

Your circle will strengthen or weaken during difficult times.

You will learn, without a doubt, who say's they have your back and means it.


You may feel that you are the square trying to fit in the circle. Stop doing that at once!! You are unique and not in a weird way either.

The problem with trying to fit in is that you no longer stay unique. You become just like them. This world has too many "of them". The world needs uniqueness. It's refreshing and exciting. Period. Don't believe me? Why is it then when something out of the ordinary happens it makes it a more memorable day? 

When life is good, it's good. What you bring to the table, nobody else can. People are often drawn to people that are different. You make life unique.


Sometimes certain situations need to be handled by you, and by you alone. Support is great but will only carry you so far through it. It is good to know who is willing to stand by your side during the dark times. It is also good to know that support is, just that, support. It doesn't mean they carry you through it til the end. They will provide you comfort, strength and if your lucky, humor. You have to do the hard work. The friends worth having, will be there for you.  The rest, well now you know the difference between a friend and a friend that has your back.

Point is, You will still be YOU.

The Eagle is not afraid to fly alone, and neither should YOU!!!

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

It's Fate's plan anyways....

Fate-a prophetic declaration of what must be, that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny.

I believe that Fate will bring situations to you. The choice of what's to be done however, is up to you. Get it right and it will be your destiny. Get it wrong and will keep coming back in different ways until you do get it right and it will be your destiny once again.  I see Fate being the vehicle that challenges you to your path of destiny. There may be different routes or different lessons that need to be learned, but ultimately you will arrive at where you are meant to be, always.

Sounds simple enough, right? Nope. It isn't. We are given free will to make our own choices in life. Those choices have reactions. Those reactions will determine when you end up where you were meant to be.  I believe this applies to all aspects of life. Career, love, family, or place to live is all predetermined. How and how long it takes you to get there, is up to you.

Are you doing what you are meant to do? What your passionate about? I think that if your not, than there will be certain ways that you will be doing what it is your meant to do. The choice not to follow our passion when it comes to a career choice, could be financial reasons. Fear of starting over or not really believing that you can make a career doing what it is that you are passionate about. I don't think you will have that inner peace in your career unless you are doing what it is that you are meant to do.  It is like doing what you know in your bones that it is wrong or it is right and that brings about such turmoil or blessings of peace.

Ok ,so what happens when you are doing what you are passionate about and it is not what you imagined? What if there are daily struggles? Changes that make you sad? What if what you thought was right for you, because it is what you are passionate about, isn't good for you anymore? What if your time is done there? Perhaps you have made an impact or learned what it was you needed too, and now it is time to move on. Coming to that conclusion can be hard emotionally. It can feel so right to be there but, then again, you already know it is time to move on. However long it takes you to get to that point of acceptance, is when one door closes and others open.  That is Fate working. You also get "a peace of it all" in your bones, telling you it is right to move on. Trust yourself what you already know. You will end up where you are supposed to be. If not, accept that your time is done, knowledge is gained and is never a waste of time. Growth does not happen by being placed into a situation that you believe it to be but happens with the unexpected. Remember that!!!

Same goes with Love. Regardless if it is a friendship or romantic. When two people are meant to cross paths, they will. Again, depending on what choices you make, determine when and for how long. Ever meet someone and you have the ease of comfort with them like no other? Do they become an instant close person in your life? Maybe they are a lifelong friend or spouse. What happens when you know in your heart you have to end it? Nothing hurts worse than being in love and knowing it cannot continue due to circumstances out of your control. You think, how can this possibly be happening? They are my everything or they get me like no other. How can I possibly walk away from this? Knowing it is time to move on is the first step. Just because you feel a certain way for someone, doesn't make it the right time to be with that person. Maybe in time you will be again and maybe it is the end. You can feel like this is the one but what if they don't? There are choices that have been made that have affected the relationship that you can no longer accept. Fate brought you two together.  The choices you both make can either keep you together or separate you. How long you end up being in each others lives is up to both of you. What if the two of you where brought together to be taught a lesson? Sometimes we do find the right person and we let them go. Circumstances, timing and so many other factors fall into play. Believe that what will be, will be, but be sure the choices you make bring you that peace in your bones before you let them go. Believing that love conquers all, is not something that I believe in. Things change, people become selfish and love can hurt like hell sometimes. People do not always see what is in front of them just because you do.

Nothing is more difficult than being in a situation, personal or business, and not being at peace with it deep down to the bone. The discomfort of pain is a minor consequence when it takes you to the right path in the end. Choosing the right thing to do, is not always easy, but if it doesn't bring you peace than it is not the right thing.

Fate will bring it to you. You are in control of how you arrive at your destiny. The choice has always been yours.

Fate will intervene to teach us lessons that we need and the people we need to help us with them.

Our free will allows us to determine how long they stay in our lives.

Remember we are human and we do screw things up, fate doesn't care about that though, the lesson will still be learned and the love will remain, it was, all along, Fate's plan anyways.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

You Go Girl!!!

Women Pose For 'Sports Illustrated' Swimsuit Models & The Results Are Super Empowering!!!!

The first time in it's 52 year history, Sports Illustrated used a Plus size Model for the cover of it's Swim Suit Edition this year. I say Kudos to them!!! They also have other plus sized models in the issue itself.

Image is everything in today's society. Having them use a plus size model is wonderful.  They are sending a huge message to everyone. I think it is long overdue and much needed in today's world.

Now maybe we can get them to realize that Being between sizes 8-14 is not Plus Size!!!! Those sizes should be considered average.

For this "Average" Woman, I will take this as a step in the right direction and have hope in our future becoming more realistic for our daughter's.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

The Blindside...Gotta Love it!!!

We never know what the future holds, do we? We think that we know how relationships will be.  We are so in love with this person. Regardless if it's a friendship, romance, sibling, parents, cousins or whom ever it may be with. We are just enjoying the happiness of it all.  Then, out of nowhere, it ends. Just like that. Welcome to the club, you have been Blindsided.

This can leave you shattered in a million pieces. Depending on how deeply you loved this person. I do not have to go into detail here. You guys all know how it happens. Basically, contact with this person is less and the excuses become more n more. Sometimes, it just ends. No reason given, just no more contact.

So why didn't you see this coming?

The User- These are hard to detect. They are smooth and can be charming. They will make you feel that you are the center of their world. They will do and say what you need to hear in order to get what they want from you. They may even open up a little bit about themselves, not much but enough to make you feel connected to them. Then your history, once they get what they want from you. They feel no remorse cause this is who they are. Selfish and self serving. They believe they have done no wrong, honestly, they do not.

The Snob- This person feels that they have outgrown you. Emotionally or intellectually. I think out of cowardice, they just end the relationship. No explanation given. You wouldn't understand. You have become beneath them. No words of gratitude, for sticking by their side, encouraging them along the way to become who they have become, or helping them. No guilt either. They just have no more use for you. Done.

The Faker- Another hard to detect, at least in the beginning. They pretend to be interested in you. They may even show empathy towards you. Lend a listening ear for a few moments. Then it is all about them, constantly. They will eventually stop asking how you are. What you have been up too. It is always, always about them. Again, when they get what they want, they will move on. No explanation given. Tossed aside like garbage. And forgotten just as easily.

Untrusting is who you have become. Find yourself not surrounding yourself around people? Extremely cautious meeting new people? Have doubts about a person's motive for why they like you? You have stopped allowing people to get close to you. You no longer make new friendships. The harm they cause has a lasting affect. Crushing your self confidence.  Your belief that there is still good people in this world no longer.

You guys get the picture? Your first reaction is anger towards them. Rightly so, for their actions. Their behavior is completely on them.

What about your behavior? You, maybe unknowingly, have allowed this behavior. Maybe you weren't sure and wanted to see how it would play out. Maybe you didn't care. Or simply, maybe they offered you something that you had been lacking. How is your self confidence? Do you believe that you deserve better? Do you believe in yourself? Do you know your worth?

Before we can cast blame, we have to examine our actions too. What is your motive for allowing these kinds of relationships? What is lacking from your life? There had to been flags. Why did you ignore them?

I just think that sometimes, there is a reason why people come into our lives. They can be brought in to teach us a lesson that we need to learn about ourselves. Eventually, it will help us grow. As harsh as that way can be to learn a lesson, it may be the only way we can learn it. I think it is good to examine our own motives before we can blame another person for treating us badly.

I am not blaming you at all. A blindside can happen without warning. You may never get an explanation. It will have nothing to do with you and everything to do with who that person is. Sometimes it is what it is.

There is a fine line between LOVE and HATE. Please do not allow the love that you had for someone turn your heart to be filled with hatred. You could lose out on the love of your life. A friendship that will last forever. There can be a chance, that YOU were to impact that person. Maybe you are the person who has popped up in their life, as a specific lesson, just for them to learn, not you.

Life is all about learning and allowing us to grow into our full capacity. We can become complacent with the flow of life. Never challenging it. Forgetting our place in this world. Settling for less than our worth. Being that way can and will stop you from achieving your full potential.

Sometimes we need a rude BLINDSIDE to awaken us.  It may be the only way we can get to where we are supposed to be in life.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

I want to be a kid again...In mind and spirit that is.....

Do you remember your childhood days? What is your first memory of that time? Do you remember the ease of it all? Wasn't it all just a simpler time?

Not all of us had a carefree childhood. Life can be harsh for some us but amidst all that, there were carefree days sprinkled in here and there.

The older I get, the more I realize, I do not like being the adult that the world wants me to be today.  Maintain a 40 plus hours a week at a career, not just a job, raise a family, be involved in just about everything and everyone in the family has to too. Keep a spotless house at all times, trim the lawn so it's not an "eyesore" and so much more!! Its exhausting just typing all this, never mind actually doing all this stuff!!

We do, do it though, don't we? We want to be the perfect parents to our kids, prefect career, perfect community advocate, and so on. Today's world wants us to be the best of the best. Always Striving for PERFECTION. The perfectly manicured lawn, the perfect well-rounded kids in school with activities, the perfect volunteer, and the perfect career. How boring!!! How ADULTY of us.

My parents were not perfect in raising us. I think my parents main goal with me, was to raise a child who would survive childhood first. To say that I was accident prone, would be putting it mildly. Broken bones, bruises and needing stitches was the norm for me. I was a bit of a tomboy and yes I could and did climb trees, worked on cars with my dad, split wood and all that manly stuff. I didn't have any brothers just sisters. Three of them to be exact. 4 girls.  3 of us would help dad outside with yardwork and we all learned quite a bit by doing so. We also had chores inside the house, but we would always look for an out. I mean, who wants to vacuum or do the dishes when you could be outside all day? No brainer for us. 

While we knew how to do housework.  Working outside with our dad taught us so much more about the world. It was simple really. We learned that in order to have the freshest n healthiest food, we needed to grow a garden and cook from scratch.  How to make that food last all winter by canning it and freezing it. Homemade sauce was the best and to this day, it is how it's made, not bought, in my house. How you need to plan your meals for the family and include work lunches. How hanging laundry outside gave it a fresh smell. Still the best sheets to sleep on to this day!!!  To really understand how the vehicle you drove worked, you had to be able to maintain it. Not just put gas in it and go. Change the oil regularly, change a tire, change brakes and check all fluids. (I still remember when I was a teen and a bunch of my friends and I were out driving around on a Friday night and we got a flat tire. The guys and girls were like who is gonna change the tire? While they were deciding, I was already pulling out the spare and the jack. It wasn't until I got the lug nuts off, the guys were like hey we got it from here. I cannot tell how satisfying that moment was for me.) How to price parts and know when it was too big of a job and needed to be brought to someone who knew how to fix it but be wise enough to know what the cost should be.

All valuable lessons we all should learn in life. Teach our kids. We have become to self-reliant of everything that society has to offer us, that we forget that society does not have our best interests at heart. Obesity is a huge problem with our young people. Using their imaginations for some is a major problem among our youth of today. These two problems alone would not be an issue today if we still believed in what our society was like 40 or so years ago. By doing yard work, we learned (although we didn't know it at the time) to work as a family together, taking pride in doing a job with our own hands, and providing for each other.

To become self reliant on our own resources and not just what society has to offer us. Not just having kids and a marriage, but having a family and what that really means. Helping, providing for, allowing each to grow to who they are meant to be and always being there for each other. Sitting at the dinner table each night, if possible, as a family. We were told no, and often. Most of  us weren't spoiled kids who got everything right in the moment that we wanted it.  We had to work for it. Want a car? Go out and get a job first. Save up your money and pay for it.  Which meant, insurance, taxes, and all expenses.  Want to drive our car? Get good grades and show responsibility. It is a privilege not a right when you turn 16. We all had curfews and obeyed them. We had choices and were given consequences to those choices that we made. The dreaded family vacations each summer. Ugh. As a teen I hated them. Spend a whole week with my family??? What are you freakin crazy???

Well those weeks gave me some of the best times of my childhood. Traveling to different states, beaches, and camping. I bonded with my sisters. Had fun with my parents. It also gave me a love for beaches and the outdoors that I am glad I am able to share with my kids.

Playing outside with my friends gave us imagination and creativity. We explored our neighborhoods and a few other ones close by. Summertime meant being able to ride our bikes everywhere we wanted to go. To the pond to skip stones and listen to music. To the lake to swim and hang out. The pizza parlor for a slice and a video game. To a friends house to watch movies that we probably shouldn't of and gave us nightmares for many nights afterwards.

I get that we didn't have the responsibilities of being the head of the household and the worries that come with being a parent. But that is the point. We had the responsibility of being a kid. Free to roam and explore. Free to have fun. Free to just be a kid. We weren't worried about how many likes we got on a pic. Who is posting a bad pic from a party that we shouldn't of been at. How many obligations we had to keep up with during the week and weekends. Most of us weren't over scheduled. Parents showed up to the game. Work understood that family came first. We didn't rely on technology to entertain or tell us what to do. Sure we had kids that were obese but compared to today's kids, it wasn't really noticeable and it certainly was not a problem that was concerning.

I loved things that I was brought up with. I still carry those things in my heart. I try to instill them in my kids (it has become more of a struggle, as I am a minority, but I stick with it) It has made me who I am. My childhood was not perfect in any way. I have some deep personal scars from that time. I am able to just have scars though, because when you have a well rounded upbringing, you learn not to judge people, how to help others, not be selfish, be a team player, what family means and how to provide for yourself.  You actually learn all about life during this time. Think about that.

No classroom, extra activity and money will teach you those things. If we continue to allow our kids of today, to stay focused on electronics and give in to them,  instead of what playing outside and being a real family is about. What it really means to be a kid. To learn to think for themselves. Being creative. Being free to be just a kid. We are killing their childhood and then their chance at changing this world we live in today.

And that is a world that I am afraid of.  It is a world that I think my grandchildren will be raised in. They will only hear of stories of the older days of hardworking grandparents. I am afraid that they will only feel sorry for us.

We all need men in suits and men in blue jeans to run this world.

We just need the men in suits to remember where they came from.

Do you?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

What A Shame...

As I was listening to this song, I thought how true it is. We sometimes will rush to judge a situation or person, based on only what we see, without getting all the facts first.

I have four kids and I know them all, rather well. Sometimes I will blame one child for doing something that another child actually did. I'm not perfect and apologize when I am wrong. It is a reminder to me that even when you think you know someone, think you know what they are capable of, no matter how well you do know them, they will surprise you.

Some people are an open book. While others are not. Regardless how well you believe you know someone, you will never truly know what they are capable of doing. You may think that you do, but you don't.

One simple reason is, they may not even know how they will react until they are in that situation themselves.

Certain occurrences will bring out different emotions. Flight or fight? No matter how well you have been trained to react a certain way, you may react differently once in a live scenario. People will hear stories of how a woman will stay in an abusive relationship. Thinking if it were me I would leave. But would you? Kids and money also play a roll. Self-esteem and believing that you deserve better are easier said than done. If someone is constantly putting you down, you will end up believing that you are a screw up and deserve the punishment you get. What about a place to go? Kids are in school. As a mom, you try to do best for them. What if you think you are giving them the best?

What if people think your not too bright? Just because it takes you longer to learn something, does that make you unintelligent?

What if you dislike spending money on clothes? Does that make you poor or have bad taste?

It is a shame how quick we are to judge a situation before we actually try to gain understanding of what is really going on in someones life.

Spend time seeking to understand before you judge someones behavior. We are unique and react differently to everything.

I once said, "I would never do that." Then one day I did. Taught me a lesson. Never ever judge. You, yourself, do not know what you are capable of until you are actually  doing it.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

A single drop of rain....

Negative Emotions. Anger. Malice. Cruel Intentions. Injustice. Competitiveness. Jealousy. Some people take joy in these emotions. They live for them. Some are even unhappy unless they can make you miserable. I think it is because they are jealous of what you have and they do not. Yes, it's that simple.

Whatever their motivation is, they do take joy in destroying you, until all of your joy is gone and you are just as miserable as them.

They are like a single drop of rain. A single drop of rain is the start of a river, which can turn into a pond and then a lake. The momentum of a single drop of rain, gathered with other drops, will no longer be a single drop of rain, but change into collective drops of rain.

A single thought can turn into an action. An action has momentum.  Momentum expands the thought triggering a reaction to the initial thought.

Someone wronged you.  You want justice for yourself. You like causing a negative wave throughout the universe. What is the effect of that? A thought of malice intent. A thought of Anger has a negative impact. Spread a false truth or Gossip, and you can destroy a reputation of a decent human being.  People tend to believe in the negative rather than the good. Especially, if someone knows how to work the crowd.

Control. Some people like to control everything and everyone in their lives. Maybe they do not like the fact that they cannot control what is going on in their lives or what has happened to them previously, that hurt them deeply. They haven't let go of the fact that bad things happen to good people. Wrongs are made with no reason sometimes.  Just the simple fact, someone chooses to be mean because someone treated them badly.

I could give, sadly, quite a few examples of bad behavior, but you guys know. It is a cycle. I do not think that people think about how far it really goes. How much damage it does cause. How many realities it does affect.

Living with believing that the world has done you wrong and treating everyone you meet the same way, continues the cycle.  The rain drops will gather deep enough until that is what you truly believe. You will attract other drops of rain with the same way of thinking. You will have killed the dreams of hope. Hope that could grow inside you allowing you to be so much more. Always believing in the negative, will only have you living in the negative, attracting more negative, and changing the positives in your life to negatives.

Breaking the cycle is not an easy thing to do. How do you shield yourself from the damage? How do you stay positive in a negative environment? If it involves physical abuse, tell someone. I know your scared to do so, but it will only get better for you. Someone has to stand for you. If there is no one than you need to stand for yourself. Scared or not. You matter. No matter what anyone tells you. You do.

How do you break the cycle when the person doesn't see what they are doing to you. Unfortunately, people can get so blinded by their own anger, they can't see any other way, so they believe you have the problem, not them.

You have to make peace with your situation and realize that they do not know any better. They didn't know that they could stand for themselves when nobody else would. DO NOT ALLOW THE CURRENT SITUATION YOUR IN DETERMINE WHO YOU BECOME. It is but a single moment in time. Not forever.  A single drop of rain. Remember that.

The world is not surprised by acts of cruelty, rather by random acts of kindness. Think about that.

Drops of rain fall from the sky, with darkening clouds and thunderstorms.  This can make for a dreary day. The same can be said for anger and cruelty. It can make for a dreary life.

Remember that after the rain stops, the clouds move away, and the sun shines through, there is a Rainbow. It is to remind us that even in our darkest times, there is a way out. A way to break the cycle. A choice to be made.

What kind of rain will you spread?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~