We need to be different, life would be boring if we were all the same. Different people bring out things in us that need to be let out. Giving our heart to someone, should always challenge, inspire us, and continually allow us to grow.
What happens when we give it to someone who breaks it? A heart can be shattered into a million little pieces, by a friend, lover, sibling, parents and anyone that we give it to. There is such a vulnerability within us when we open ourselves to be loved. We want to protect it fiercely and keep all pain from it. It is probably the most sacred thing to us. We go to great lengths to protect it from harm. A broken heart can make us feel that a part of us has died or is missing. That is how much we can love.
Is it worth the risk then? Why do we do it? Goes back to the whole, we weren't meant to be alone. I think we all have the desire to be loved. As kids, we seek love from our family. Then we grow up. We start looking for people who will make up our inna circle, the person who will love us forever, or what we hope will be forever.
How many breaks can the heart handle before it is broken completely? How many walls do we surround our broken heart with? How many scars do we allow to cover our heart before we even think of letting someone pry back those layers again?
I think some protection is good. We need to learn that we cannot allow ourselves to be stupid when it comes to love, with the exception of first love, that is unique. Plus there has to be a first, we have to learn.
Some of us learn at a young age, just how fragile our hearts can be. Unfortunately, families can be harsh teachers of love. The first layers are formed then. How we view our parents love, will have a huge impact on what we look for in our own partners in life. The qualities we see in their love story, or what it lacks, is what we will want for our own. As kids we are sponges. We soak up what is around us, even if we are not paying attention. Simple really. Had a strong parent? Are you opposite or just like them? Had a missing parent? Is your spouse present and what you imagined having for yourself, for your kids? Had excellent parents? Are you trying to image your family like you had? A parent that had issues when you were a kid? Is your spouse or you a stronger version? Think about it. You will find that I am not that far off.
Had your trust broken or betrayed as a kid? I say that lightly, but it's not. Nor do I want to go into that depth at this time. Had a perfect childhood? I am trying to point out that we all have baggage from our childhood, good or bad, that we carry in our hearts into adulthood.
Whatever past love experiences you have had, you need to accept it for what it was. Innocence can be stolen at young age, leaving you no choice but to be strong and move on. Having to be the parent, when you should of been the kid. Life is not fair. Bad things happen to good people.
Not everyone has the same exact life experience. We often think when there's that click between two hearts, they are the same. Rarely is that the case. We can have the same type of personality, morals, values, ethics and so on. Hearts can be similar but rarely, they are exactly the same. Different life experiences for each heart brings about different needs for each one. We need to heal our own hearts before finding the one that will make the scars fade, so much so, that the layers and walls will be easy to break down or not exist at all.
We want to be all that we can be, for the love of a friend or lover, but we often forget that the heart has the biggest need of all, to be placed next to the heart, that is not the same as ours, but will care for it as if it where their own.
Until next time,
~It is what it is~
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