Hold back the River.....

Life is unique for each of us. We can meet someone, hit it off, and become besties.  Then we get side tracked with life.

Sometimes we can get so focused on our goals that we forget what is surrounding us. We can get into a routine and be so comfortable with that, we don't even realize that we are enclosing ourselves in solitude. Sort of just flowing with the river of life.

The friends that we used to spend so much time with and the things we enjoy doing, we no longer do.  Even spending less time with family.

Work, family, and just life responsibilities are time consuming, no doubt. So why is it that we stop texting, calling, and making that time for those people that we enjoy?

The life we are supposed to be building shouldn't exclude those things we enjoy and the people we enjoy doing them with.

The world today is getting so technology savvy but it is taking away the personal touches that our lives need. Interaction with the things that ground us, connect us to one another, and to a real life.

Exploring, feeling each moment, laughing, crying, talking, and bonding with those that meant so much to us before we forgot who we were, is what life is all about.

Not the cushy job, big house, and bigger bank accounts.  What is the point of having all of that, if we have people that we knew before and after?

Those stories that we tell of the days gone by, were once moments in our lives.

The good thing about friends, family and those we call family, they will always accept us back when we stray.

Just be sure that the ones you have left, are the right ones to leave behind.

Not everyone in your life is willing to hold back the river for you.


Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http:/www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

"Are you okay?"

Tis' the season of happiness, thankfulness and joy. Spreading good cheer and kindness to our loved ones. A Happy time for all!!!

All of us? Did you know that this time of year is one of the highest times for depression and suicides?

When we think of the unthinkable happening, we always believe it will happen in someone else's circle and not anyone we could possibly know. Until it does. Then it's, I had no idea they felt that way.

How well do you know your circle? Do you feel that anyone in your circle would feel comfortable enough to tell you that they are really hurting to the point of taking their own life? It is not easy to admit how badly we really think of ourselves to our loved ones out loud.

Think about that for a few minutes, please. I am not saying that you can change anyone's mind or figure out how depressed someone actually is if they are not prepared to tell you. Sometimes no matter how hard we do try, we cannot change the outcome.

I can think of a hundred times when I have said that I am just tired or it's nothing to bother you with. I'll get over it soon enough. When I am asked out, I will say I am going to stay in tonight. I don't feel like going out. I have stuff to do, when in fact I don't. Haven't we all done that? Our reasoning can be, we just didn't want to talk about it in that moment, we haven't figured out how we feel about it or we just didn't plan on telling anyone at all about it. Working so much during the holidays, sometimes I do just want to stay in.  Our response to that would be one of, "I respect you and when your ready I am here for you." Then we go about our day, wait for them to tell us or forget about it thinking they will talk to someone, eventually.

I am using me as an example. Simple explanations that we would not think anything about. But I am the type of person who would be convincing. I am asking you to really pay attention to those you come across daily. Listen to your gut instincts. If something is off, it probably is and do not assume it just a stressful time for them.  We may get a bad vibe and think it has to do with us, when in fact it doesn't.

Show kindness to everyone you come across. Make time out of your busy schedule to spend actual time with those you know. Pick up that phone and call someone you haven't spoken to in awhile. Put your busy life aside and make time.

We can get so caught up in this season, that we tend to forget that not everyone is as happy about it as we are.

We need to make sure that when we ask, "Are you okay?" That the person knows we would set aside time for them in a heartbeat. That they know our intentions are purely for their well being. That by us saying, anything you need me to do for you, means just that.

And sometimes it's just knowing that someone would actually stop everything that they have going on for us, means everything in the world at that moment.

Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Kell surprised me with this today. It got me thinking about love and how unconditional it really is.

You see I work in retail. I have worked a double shift and more hours than I normally do in the past five days.  I haven't been home much and as a mom, it weighs on me.

The guilt of the working Mom. Do I spend enough quality time with my family? Do I know everything that is going on with my kids? Am I "here" enough for them? The questions can be never ending, if I let them.

I let the questions of doubt go and just do the best that I can. I know some days I will fall short and that it will be okay.

That my kids need to see a mom who works, cares for them and their home. A mom who always does her best to put them first. Provide for them. A mom who can balance life.

They also need to see a Mom who can fall short some days. A mom who needs help getting dinner on the table in time. A mom who forgot to sign that form for school. A mom who is just tired sometimes.

A mom who is not perfect but is loved unconditionally anyways.

A mom who needs to give herself a break. Realize that the job she does, as being a mom, is being done for children who love her unconditionally.

That on this day of giving thanks, I have been shown that I have so much to be thankful for and my flaws do not matter to those that love me.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

NO!!!!!!

It is hard being told no. No you are not the one for me. No you are not the one for this job. No, I don't want you to do that. No, that doesn't look good on you. No, I do make more than you. No, I know more than you. No, I do not like your idea. No, you're not the person for the job. No, you cannot do that. No, I am not willing to change my mind. Just No.

We are constantly being told no. Or it can seem like it. At work or personally,  it wears on you. What if I told you that being told no is actually good for you?

The word NO, is not a negative word. Sometimes it is not the end. It can mean a beginning. There are times when it is meant to challenge you. Yes. A challenge for you to take a new perspective. To learn why you're being told no. To learn something new about yourself and those around you.

Career wise or personally, it can mean you're not seeing the importance of something. Not seeing the bigger picture. Not giving it your all. Doing things not necessarily the wrong way but there can be a better way. A job you love, may not be the right job for you after all. To bring an end. Not everyone will love you for you. Not everyone will be willing to stay in your life. Not everyone has good intentions when they are in your life.

It is not always a challenge. No can mean the end. Some things are not meant to be for many reasons. No doesn't always mean a refection of you but the circumstances surrounding you instead.

NO, is a reality check. It can change the path you are on and place you on a better one.

So, Bring on the NO and look at it as a good thing!!!


Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

and "CLICK" that's it...........

Connections are unpredictable. They come out of nowhere and when we least expect it.

I have been fortunate to come across a couple of these connections in my life time. Each of them being unique, meaningful, never the same, and always not what I expected.

People come and go so often throughout our lifetime, we need to pay attention to those that come with the connection. They often bring a lesson, either for them or for ourselves and sometimes both.

Human nature tends to want us to control the outcome of what happens in our lives. Keeping us with the illusion of the belief that we know what is best for us and only us.  It is a humbling experience to realize that sometimes we need help in navigating our own lives. To learn things about ourselves that we couldn't possibly learn any other way. We can also be the voice of reason or inspiration to that connection.

Regardless of what you believe, you can not always simply explain away a connection with someone that you, yourself, didn't see happening.  You do not have to like it or the person that you have been paired with. Believe me I know. I have been there. It is like, why the hell am I in this person's life??  I think you learn the most from them or you are put there for their benefit. Think about that. Anyone come to mind? Now think in the terms of what you have learned from them or they from you.  It doesn't have to always be personal, it can be professional too. Most of the time, they leave your life as quickly as they came into it.

They are unique, special and what you need in that moment of time. 

Sometimes though, you truly enjoy their company and what the connection brings out in both you. They can be meant to stay longer and if your lucky enough, they will be with you always

I know this is a topic I have covered before. I was recently reminded that there are moments in life, if we stop and look with a clear view, we will see, that Yes, we are not meant to live life alone and we do not always know what is best for us. That we can be placed in someone's life to help them and in turn, we can be helping ourselves at the same time.

We can ruin things when we try to control them. Control can bring an end too early and will change the true meaning of what the connection was meant to be. 

A reminder, that when the "CLICK" happens, we simply need, to allow it to be.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

.

Stop being stuck.........

Thinking of a change? Want to run?

New place. Fresh faces. New address. New career.

You will still find yourself stuck.

Your problems will not go away, even when you leave them behind.

Time has a way of making us forget for awhile of what we are running away from.

The thing is, when we build our life, we can't factor in the variable of life itself. We make mistakes. We doubt some choices. We regret some moments. Some moments change us. We enjoy some moments. We have a life to live.

Stop running away from what is causing you to want to run in the first place.

Think about this, it takes the same amount of strength, if not more, to avoid something and to keep running from it, than to just deal with it and to let it go.

You get a richer deeper understanding of life when you face your problems and let them go.

You have the strength.

You just don't believe you do.

Stop being stuck.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

I hope......

I used my right to have a say in this election.

I have this right by choice made by others, not by some odd chance.

I voted for what I choose to believe in.

I am not wrong in my choice.

You are not wrong in your choice.

It is a choice.

Regardless of who wins, we will all have to deal with the outcome. 

Someone has to lose and win.

My concern isn't really who wins, but how are we going to deal with the outcome?

A country that is clearly divided already, will this only create further division?

I hope, whatever happens, I hope, it brings us together as a nation.

As you all know by now, I am a person who has hope.

I hope we will be a Great nation. A nation that stands together instead of against one another.

I hope that we do not continue to destroy one another for their choice.

I hope, because any other way, is not by chance but by choice.

A choice made by each American.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview 

This one's for you Shawn........

Idiot

"I'm gonna tell you what I think about you in that unforgivable way I do
You're an idiot
And I hate your guts
I guess I'm about as happy for you as I would be a cockroach in my food
I know it's terrible
I really hate you though

Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who's never gonna wish you well
Oh please remember me
Believe in me as someone
Who wants you to go to hell"

I was out with my youngest son this afternoon. He found my Lisa Marie Presley CD in the glove compartment. After I explained who she was, he put the CD in.

Yes, his initial reaction was, "Mom!" In my defense, not all her songs on this CD are this negative. I had to explain why I have this CD and why I listen to it. He said that this would be a good post for my blog. Inspiration strikes everywhere. Thank you Shawn. I love being your mom!!!

I bought it out of curiosity many years ago. I liked it. It is a good cd to listen too. I can pick up on her emotions throughout the songs. If I have a bad day with people, I pop this in, go to track #7, and blast it when I am driving or jogging. Since I am being honest, yes I am singing right along with it at the top of my lungs too!! LOL It is a good stress reliever for me.  I am getting all negative thoughts out in a positive way. I feel different about the person and situation when I am done. It is better to get out all the negativity out in a positive way and harm no one. Otherwise we will find ourselves in a worse predicament. Honestly, you know you are thinking what the words in the song are saying anyways. Find a song that you can relate to and let it rip. It is always better to release the negativity in a positive way, before unloading all that negativity in the moment. It is just a moment and we almost always feel different once we get it all out. We are all human, make mistakes and we shouldn't beat ourselves up when we do let it out instead of waiting. This works 95% of the time for me.  When it doesn't, then I need to talk to the person, after I sing it out first!!!

Anyways, this brought out a conversation about people. Fake ones and real ones. How they make us feel. All is good when it is good. When it is bad, it causes us to be hurt. Shawn was saying Fake friends are the worst. I agree. You are in it or your not. Why pretend to like someone? Why pretend to be someone's friend? Especially when you are a teenager. This is the time that you are trying to figure out what kind of person you are going to be. A time when you should be developing your character and personality. A time when you learn who you are. Will  you be fake or real? 

We all want to be liked by our peers. We want to make the connection with like minded people. We want a few to call us friend. Being a teen in today's society is a difficult thing. I remember being me. I am a different person. I try to teach him that it doesn't matter what other's think of him. It matters what he thinks of himself. The right people will like you for who you are, not what you can offer them.

I wish every teen would get that!! If every teen started being themselves and doing the things that they liked doing, regardless if anyone else did, life would be so much easier for them. I get it, I really do understand how hard it is to fit in. To be liked. To be considered different. To be made fun of. My full first name, Jacqueline or around Halloween time, Jack-O-Lantern or Jacky wacky. Did I mention that I wear glasses? Yeah, try being a teen in the 70's. A time when Peace was cool, being a preppy, jock, being free, fighting for rights, and computers was a new concept. Talk about trying to fit in. That may be part of the problem  There are so many things we can do and belong too, that it may be overwhelming for us to decide. We have to try different things to find out where we truly belong or click with.

Shawn can tell you that I tell him this:

Do not have a set image of what your friends should be or look like.
Do the things that you are interested in, for you.
Show kindness. Always.
Accept that not everyone will be real with you. That is on them. NOT YOU!!!! It is not because of you. Believe that.
Do not be afraid to say what is in your heart.
Rejection is a part of life, even for adults.
What other people think and say about you, is none of your business. Seriously it is not.
Someone can like you but not like what you do. Read that one again. Think about it.

Be who you are.

The right people will become your friends.

You will find your path.

It just takes time.

Be patient with yourself.

Be Real.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/JackiesView 

12 seems about right........

I have written three posts this week and keep changing them. I thought I should post something inspirational and filled with wisdom. You see, I am turning 50. That, half a century mark. The big 5 0.  It's one of those milestones that should leave me feeling accomplished and wiser. 

Yeah, I'm winging this thing called life. Wiser, depends on the moment.  Accomplished, well I do have 4 healthy happy kids, so yeah, check accomplished.

This is my 2 cents worth:

Know that Love is free. You can't hold onto something that is meant to be free.

Some of us are connected.  Allow the connection to be what it's meant to be.  Some people are meant to come and go throughout your life.  Let them.

Be honest with yourself. Always. Even when you're not with others.

All relationships require your time and energy.

Forgive yourself.  If you don't, how will you be able to forgive anyone else?

Value yourself, so others will know your worth.

Regrets suck. Go for it or let it go.

Expectations ruin relationships.

Love the body you have and you will be confident and sexy. Your size means nothing.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

Time is precious, treat it that way.

Life can suck.  Allow yourself a 24hr period of self-pity and move on.

Life can be wonderful and fun. Make the most of it.

Your age marks how many years you have been alive.

How you feel about yourself is how old you really are.

Today, I feel about 12, without a care in the world.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview