Where will being Lost take you?

The definition of Lost, according to Dictionary.com:
Adjective-
1) no longer possessed or retained: lost friends.

2) no longer to be found: lost articles.

3) having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc.: lost children.

4) not used to good purpose, as opportunities, time, or labor; wasted: a lost advantage.

5) being something that someone has failed to win: a lost prize.

6) ending in or attended with defeat: a lost battle.

7) destroyed or ruined:

All are acceptable definitions.
I like #2. No longer to be found.  It's nice to be lost sometimes. Time to be completely alone and not wanting to be found. Time to recharge your batteries so to speak. Discover who you are or want to be. To let go of it all for a short period of time. It can be refreshing and can give us a new outlook, approach to a situation or on life in general.

#3. Have gone astray. Missing the way. Not being able to find our direction in life can be worrisome and cause chaos in our lives. Giving us the feeling of being lost. I find it interesting that we need to feel that we belong to something and need to have a purpose in life in order to feel that we are whole. Think about that for a moment. We weren't intended to live without a purpose. We strive to be more continually. We want that feeling of purpose which in fact brings us completeness in our life. What path we should follow can be certain for a time and give us great satisfaction.

What happens when we no longer get satisfaction from that direction? What do we do to get back on track or how do we go into a new direction when we feel lost? I think we need to explore why we got off track in the first place. If we don't than we can fill the void of being lost with things that do not belong there. They will bring us peace for only a short period of time. The easiest answer would be that we accomplished all that we could with that path and it is time to start on a new path. Most times we know, deep down inside ourselves, what it is that is missing from our lives.  Fear is a master at letting us believe we can not accomplish this or that.  Obligations is another block that stops us. Confrontations hold us back. Letting go is another culprit. How long will you allow obstacles to leave you wandering around lost? What will it take for you to get back on a path meant for you?

#4. Not used to good purpose, as opportunities, time, or labor; wasted. Lost can leave us feeling we are not living up to our full potential.  That can leave us feeling that we are wasting our time and up to no good. It is important not to allow ourselves to stay lost for too long of a time. We can lose our self-esteem and spiral downward. There is nothing wrong with taking different paths until we find the right one for us to be on.  Self-exploration can build qualities and strength within us.

#7. Destroyed or ruined.  Remember that only objects can be destroyed or ruined. Tragedies, feelings, and things will hurt. Sometimes deeply.  Giving us the thought of having been destroyed or ruined. In reality, they are moments that give us courage to become more than we once were. These moments should challenge or change, but never allow them to keep us down for a long period of time.  It is important to take the time to recover and refocus. I am not saying it is easy. I get it. I have dealt with tragedies that left me feeling lost and empty. I know how hard it is to rebuild. To regain the strength to get back up after being knocked down. I also know, that it can be done.

#6. Ending in or attended with defeat: a lost battle.  I do not take being lost lightly or as a sign of defeat. Rather, an ending that leads to a new beginning. It is a sign of  needing to change and accepting a new challenge that will bring a new path to travel.

How will you allow being LOST define you?

Until next time,

It is what it is



What do you see?

I worked out this evening and then went to the grocery store. I used to work at this store, so I know quite a few people that work there.  I just wanted to grab a few things, mainly for breakfast in the morning, and be out quickly. I had just finished working out and I know I was not a site for sore eyes!!  I ran into three people I knew and it took them a minute or so to realize who I was. We all look different outside of work, in normal clothes, and not in a uniform.

Anyways, as I spoke with each of them, a thought came to my mind about how we only see what we want to see. We see ourselves a certain way. Kids see parents as just that, mom n dad, not as individuals or a married couple. Grandparents as these older versions of our own parents, except they are more fun.

Perceptions are completely up to the individual. We see what we want to see for many reasons. It could be that we do not want to over extend ourselves. We feel that we will not be able to make a difference.  We are afraid of our own feelings. Unfortunately for some of us, we are too self absorbed to even notice the person we are interacting with. 

 

Think about how much we miss out on when we perceive things from only our view point. I might see the same thing as you, but if we are to narrow minded to be open to other interpretations than how much are we missing out on?

 

I have changed physically and have grown emotionally. I had to change my perspective on life. When I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time, they see the physical changes but not necessarily the internal changes I have gone through. They see a Jackie who has changed her outward appearance but do they see the internal change? I doubt it. (with the exception of my inna circle) I am basically still me. I just tweaked myself in small ways. BUT I am a person who does not share every internal issue. I am strong enough to handle almost anything. I tend to break when I am over burdened and forget how to ask for help. True enough statement for anyone, I am sure.

 

I changed because I thought, as each compliment I received, that these people are seeing what I cannot see. What my perception did not allow me to see. What else am I not seeing? I think that we get so focused on a perception, that we do not always see the bigger picture. Are we noticing that when we are talking with a friend, what they are not saying? Do we notice the calmness around us when we are in the middle of the chaos? Can we see the end during the battle? Do we see the beauty in the ordinary? How many opportunities are we missing out on due to our perception?

 

I ask you to think about your perception. Are you too focused on the goal and are missing out on the journey itself? Too focused on doing what's right, that your missing out on what's meant to be? Can you see the pain behind the happy eyes? Do you see the sunshine on a rainy day? Ok that one was corny but you get where I am going with this, right?

 

Think about how freeing it must be to see life from more than one perspective. I dare you to view things from a new perspective and promise you, that you will be free!!!!

 

Until next time,

It is what it is



Love is......



What does Love mean to you? Total unconditional Love. Give it some thought before you answer. It should not only be based on how you feel. I think emotions get in the way of love. Being in love does cause us to respond with a lot of emotions. The newness is always amazing. Finding out what you have in common, likes n dislikes, the need to see each other every possible moment, holding hands, always having that contact.  But what happens when the excitement wears off? What does True Love feel like?

Honest- Couples should be able to call each other out, any topic, no exceptions. If the love of your life can not hold you accountable, force you to see what you need to, and keep it real, than what are you doing with them?

Trusting- I mean total 100 percent trust. Worst thought, weakest moment, afraid of the dark, yeah they need to know this stuff.  Being able to say anything, show any emotion, and trust them enough to catch you when you fall.

Personality- WE all have quirks. We may use a word way to often. Chew loudly. Squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.  Get wickedly excited at a drop of a hat. Whatever it is, they will accept it.

Ethics-   Morals. What is your tolerance line? What do you believe in? Do not, I repeat, Do not compromise on what you believe in. True love will not allow it.

Self-Esteem- They should always, always, make you feel that you are the best that you can be. As you do the same for them.  Allowing each other to always reach full potential and giving the emotional support, unconditionally, goes with that.

Patience- Giving unconditional love and support can be repetitive. Actions are important. Showing unwavering support is crucial. Especially when you do not agree with what they are doing.

Teamwork- You. Me. We are a team. I lift you up when your down and you do the same for me. Always encouraging. We celebrate together. We embrace the sorrows together. We allow each other to grow. We allow each other to be who we are separately, so we can be stronger together. We have each others backs always.

Kindness- Doing things just because. Not keeping track of whose turn it is to do the dishes. Knowing when to give space and when a pint of ice cream is needed.

Forgiveness- Should be given easily. Forgetting and realizing that we are human. We are not perfect and should not place expectations unrealistically.

Fun!! Enjoy each other. Keep dating, laughing, dancing, and experience new things together.

BUT WE do not expect each other to complete us. Not one person should bare that responsibility alone. Know the difference. Balance is needed. Understand that we are a single person and we should never expect one person to complete us. That is a lot of pressure to put on one person. Think instead, my life is now complete with you in it.

Love is work, constantly. There was a spark or a connection that brought you together.  Two people come together and share an amazing love that allows each to be the best that they can possibly be. It should never make you feel that you have to compromise who you are, change what you are or anything but make you feel you are the best there is. Because you are!!!

Until next time,
It is what it is

Do you have what it takes?



Unconditional love. Unwavering loyalty. A well of forgiveness. Non-judgmental mindset. 100% Acceptance. Selfless. These are the things it takes to have a real friendship. Any relationship really.

It always amazes me how people can be so loving, and have your back one minute and the next they are treating you like your the plague. They push you to a point of hatred where there once was love. Or did they ever truly love you to begin with? Was it real or fake from the get go?

It seems like almost everyone has their own personal agenda these days. They are self serving and care only about themselves. Any relationship is great in the beginning. It's exciting to find out things that you have in common and feel that unique connection with someone. I think it cements us in a deeper personal connection and that brings us a sense of comfort. But it also puts us at risk of getting hurt. We open our hearts and let them in leaving us vulnerable.

There are two types of people in this world when it comes to being friends, in my opinion. The fake and the real. The fake will take what they need from you and move on with no regard how it affects you. There is no real emotional investment made by them. They spent their time with you, possibly enjoyed it, but when it no longer suits them, they just move on and you are replaced easily. The moments that you think you shared with them are only stories and didn't mean the same for them. They have no capacity of truly loving anotha person more than they love themselves. The calls are less, they say they are busy, and the once shared important need of your opinion on is no more.  The best excuse is, I am a lousy friend and I have no time. They often leave you wondering what the hell did you do to deserve this? They are cowards. They can't face the fact of who they are and just walk away. What they do not realize is that we put time and invested ourselves into them.  A simple explanation at the end would be so much better than the lies or excuses. It's easier to understand honesty than play the game. Why don't they realize this? There was chat with a friend that started, "I think I have depended on you way too much" The friendship changed, but it was totally understood. It was sad but no anger for there was understanding.  How can you hate someone for being honest with you?

The Real friend will be honest with you, no mattah how uncomfortable it makes them. The moments that you share with this friend, are just that moments. They have meaning for the both of you. They make time for you. They will put you first to hang with you every now and again. They continually want to make more memories with you. More special moments. There is the, "hey I am busy this week but next week I am open" mindset with a real friend. Yes they sometimes do get caught up in their day to day routine and do get busy. It is when they have that 2 minute window they will reach out to you. It isn't a chore or a hassle to make time but a necessity that makes them all the more real.

I see it happening more and more with people I know, "I don't know what happened. We did everything togetha and bam they won't return my texts anymore."  I have given emotional support to friends and it saddens me each time. In a world where there are more ways to stay in touch with friends, it seems that friends have become more unloving, uncaring, unforgiving, and most self-centered than eva.

I ask you out of kindness, before making that friendship for your own personal needs only, think twice if you have a heart. I am tired of trying to explain assholes like you to kind, loving and who deserve so much more than what you have to offer friend that I do love n care about.

It is not that hard to be a real friend. Do you have what it takes to be a real friend?

Until next time,

It is what it is.....

       







The invisible thread that connects us all

Today has been one of "those" days where everything goes awry. I am a baker. I kept dropping stuff. Pans, trays, and I even spilled a bowl of melted buttah!! Burned my arm, again. Added too much water to a batch of bread. I neva thought today would end!!!

Childhood memories of my mother kept popping in my head today. She always had an "old wives tale" or some superstition for practically everything that happened. I am not sure if it was due to the era she grew up in, or if it was just what she believes.  If we spilled salt, we had to throw some over our right shoulder. If we kept dropping something, that meant someone had to tell us something. When you walked into a new building, walk in with your right foot. You get the idea.

Anyways, it got me thinking about connections. How sometimes we get that feeling that someone looks familiar or we could be almost 100 % positive that we have met them before, even though we have not. We can be somewhere we have neva been and everything feels like you have been there before. That deja vu feeling. It reminded me of the Red Thread of Fate.

Ever meet someone and instantly feel like you have known them for years? Sometimes we meet someone and are able to share everything with an ease that is comforting. You don't have to pretend to be somebody your not. There is an immediate acceptance between the two of you. They offer a comfort, a completeness, or a sense of, I belong with this person in some capacity, friends, lovers, or whateva it may be, you just know.

If you believe in God, the universe, Darwin's Theory, or some form of a higher power that put us on this earth, the Red Thread of Fate is an interesting belief. Think about the circumstances that brought people into your life ova the years. We make decisions without even thinking about them sometimes. I was running late, needed to get gas, stopped at this station, I neva stop at, and look who I ran into!! I wanted a cup of coffee and decided to go into this café, that I always wanted to try, and that's how we met. A lot of friendships are formed at the workplace, volunteering, weekly visits to the library or gym. Sometimes we meet a new co-worker, workout buddy, neighbor, or whomeva it may be, and there is this instant connection that is not the same with others.

Think about how you met someone and they changed your life. How you changed them. Do you really think that was just a coincidence? That you met them at the exact moment you/they needed to?

Currently there are about a trillion or so people living on this earth. I think it is comforting to know we were created not to be alone.

Until next time,
It is what it is

It takes a Village....

Friendship has been popping in out of my mind but these past few days I have had a wicked head cold. Some of you may know that my thoughts can get jumbled from time to time, without being sick, lol, lets hope you get the message that is trying to come out. Here it goes with fingers crossed and toes ;)

I think of friends as puzzle pieces that fit perfectly within each others lives.. We all need people around us that we can count on.  Each piece brings a certain quality that only they can bring. Each piece is unique making our lives complete.

The Shrink- We all need a counselor in our lives. They are the ones that will look at everything from every possible angle there is too look from. They will often give sound advice. They will be harsh when they have to be and show compassion when needed. They can give you a new perspective. The shoulder to cry on, hug or whatever is needed in the moment. This puzzle piece will keep it real.

The Comedian- Who doesn't benefit from a good deep belly laugh? Laughter is good for the soul for a reason. We all need someone who can make us laugh. This puzzle piece will keep it light.

The Shopper- I can not tell you how many times I have snapchatted or texted a pic while I am in the dressing room. These puzzle pieces I simply can not live without!!! They will bring you style!!

The Adventurer- What can I say? We all should push ourselves to our limits but sometimes we need a push to do so.  This puzzle piece can bring you to places you never knew you could go!!

The Braniac-  There are times in our lives when we need to know something but do not have the time to research it ourselves. We become smarter by being around them!!! This puzzle piece is definitely your, "Can I phone it in?"

The Go To Person- They can handle being all the above, all of your dark edges, the highs, the lows, and just get you the way no one else does. We all should have a piece like this one.

There are many, many more examples I can think of, but you get where I am going with this, right? Balance. Our circle of friends should bring us balance. Trust. Honesty. Love. Laughter. Brings Balance into our lives.

What do you bring to the circle? How is your puzzle piece shaped? Have you ever ended up friends with someone you never thought in a million years you would even like?

Never judge a book by it's cover. Never judge anyone by there behavior of the moment, it is just a moment. Never walk through life thinking you have it all or done it all. We are all constantly evolving and growing.

It has been stated that it takes a village to raise a child. The way I see it is, we are always someone's child from birth to death, the village will change as we age, but there still needs to be a Village.

Until next time,
It is what it is

Waiting.....

I have random thoughts. Some thoughts strike with a passion that brings a message for no one in particular, I just need to express the thought. I was at the bus stop waiting for my daughter to get home from school today. The word waiting kept jumping into my thoughts today. I do not believe that things just happen without meaning, so today's musing is about waiting. I hope you enjoy, even if it does not directly apply to you.

  

Sometimes waiting is good to experience. Waiting for good news, knowledge, promotions, contests, people visiting, and things like that. Then there is bad waiting. Waiting for someone to change, to push yourself to get that promotion, letting go of a bad habit, for the fear of change itself, entering into your non-comfort zone, and waiting for that sign. See the thing is to know the difference. To seek wisdom if your not sure what the difference is. Who in your circle is able to give you advice with genuine honesty and objectively?

Waiting changes people. Change is going to happen. It is a constant that you can count on in life.  People do not generally change themselves to please anotha person (unless they are playing you). A person going through an uncertain time, becomes different during that time and will change once they figure out why they are struggling. That will change them. They essentially are the same person but sometimes they become better for them and not the person before when you first met.  Ask yourself if you truly will be able to accept them for who they become once this happens. Life changes people in itself. Life throws circumstances at us, at an incredible rate, that sometimes leaves us no choice but to change. Ageing happens each year to all of us, but that does not mean we all mature at the same pace or in the same way.

Waiting can destroy your career.  Working hard and waiting for a promotion, that you know will come, is good waiting. Being passed ova for a promotion again and again is not a good waiting. Take a view from yourself on the outside and really look hard at what you see. Can you be objective and honest enough, if not seek that person in your circle for advice.  Not all bosses are nice enough to be really honest for they do not want to hurt your feelings. If they are telling you that you need to work on such n such and have with no promotion, your getting the run around. If you have not been listening to your boss and haven't truly tried doing what they suggest, then it's time to start doing it.  Life has a way of pushing you into a different direction regardless if you want to go into it. A promotion may not being coming your way cause you are not meant for it to happen. Take time to really think on this. Seek advice and discover what you are truly meant to do. Maybe it is not about you this time, it could be your partners (in life) time to grow career wise and you need to step back for a bit. Life is not always just about you, especially if your in a committed relationship.  It could be anotha position that you are better suited for.  Just be sure your not running into a new position to get out of the old one, that could be the worse mistake of  your career and leave you miserable!!!

Waiting can destroy your hopes and dreams. Waiting for your life's plan to take place without action is not good waiting. Believing that fate will bring things to you, is true, but once it has will you be able to recognize it?  If it's love your seeking, will you see it when it's in front of you? Love does not always come wrapped with a nice big red bow on it!! It could be the person that drives you insane or enjoys driving you insane. It is not always love at first sight. If your waiting to be conked ova the head with hearts in your eyes, it doesn't happen that way for everyone. Get off the couch and put yourself out there. I will say this though, be very clear in declaring your intentions, people do not always see the subtle ways you may be communicating how true your feelings are for them. Make it clear!!! Saving for a house, but still get take out, buying things you do not really need? Yeah, you do not want that house bad enough. Waiting for your bank account to grow means making sacrifices daily. How much do want that new house, car, wardrobe or whateva it is your saving for? Sacrifices need to be made in anything worth having. Remember that.

Anything is obtainable. You have to decide if it's worth the wait. So which do you choose?

Until next time,

It is what it is



......9 months and I will be 50!!!

I decided to join Burn Boot Camp in January. I felt I needed to make my body stronger and while doing so I will drop those last few pounds that I should. I have received comments but I don't see it.  I dislike taking pictures of myself so much, for many reasons, but that is for anotha time. Matt, my son, took the photo for me.

This got me thinking about a lot of things, but mainly that in 9 months I will be half a century old, God willing. I am starting to feel really good in my body. My stamina is growing, I can do push ups, I feel stronger with each work out, and I am finally getting it. Like a fine wine is better with age, I  too am only getting better.

50 years of living on this earth. Wow. When my friends and family members reached this milestone, I had a different perspective. That is a lot of time to discover who you are. As I get older I think about where I have been and where I want to go. I get why people make a bucket list. There is so much to see and do in this world. There are moments to be made and shared. I think we all get caught up with the day to day needs of living. Taking care of a family is a 247 job in itself, career's are really more than 40 hours a week, and what time we do have left, we try to make a life with. That doesn't seem to be much time left over to do much with.

When we are young, we cannot wait to grow up and be an adult. As a young adult we think we have it all figured out. Then middle age hits and we discover we still haven't even touched the surface of life yet. We are too busy trying to make a living to survive, that many us of forget to bring balance to our lives. We forget to do those things that refresh us. Those moments that brings joy down deep into our souls. Pure happiness.

Think about that for a minute. As teenagers we went to school for about 6 hours a day. We couldn't wait to get home and play. For me, it was outside with the neighborhood kids. Played until the street lights came on. Once we did get home we were exhausted and slept soundly. Today's kids are missing out on that. Most of all them, if not all, play video games. These kids will be our future. What are we really teaching them about life? Do we remember to teach them balance? How do we set the example?  When was the last time you came home from work and played until you were exhausted? Why do we wait for that day off or the weekend?  I get it. Someone has to make dinnah, clean up, homework and prepare for the next day.

We all need to make playing a priority like we do with making a career and family. Playing outside allowed us to be creative and our imaginations grew. There is so much joy in doing that. I believe it gave us the power to become better kids than today. We need to be the strongest version of us in order to set the example and balance life. However it is that makes us the strongest version of us is what we need to do. As kids it was playing, as young adults it was making that career and family. I believe middle age is for finding that balance in life. Making time to enjoy the career path we are on and leaving it at work before we get home. Once we are at home, we need to realize that taking care of our kids, family or us, also means to balance life with moments of joy.

I am not so much freaking out about turning 50 anymore. I am becoming the strongest version of myself more and more each day. I am bringing back my imagination in a kid like fashion. I am putting my energy into playtime.

How will you become the best verison of you?

Until next time,
It is what it is....

 I was in a movie mood tonight.  I decided on The Bee Movie. If you haven't seen it you need to. I love this movie for many reasons, there are great actors, the animation, and the comedy just to name a few.

Tonight as I watch this movie, all 4 of my kids can quote this movie line by line btw,  I was inspired with a few thoughts and I would like to share them with you.  Normally I would post them on FB and be done with it.  A friend has commented on these musings, if you will,  that I should start a blog. So here it goes. Thanks Sam!!

I like how the beginning of the movie quotes on how the Bee should not be able to fly according to humans. Wing span, shape of body and so on. It ends with, "Bees do not care what humans think"

This movie is about how one person believes in something and stops at nothing to allow his voice to be heard.  We all deserve a chance to discover who we are and what we are capable of.

                                 "Why does his life have any less value than yours?"

Think about that for a minute.  How many times do we stop before we deliver a message or try something new that we are passionate about?

What if you did not care what other humans thought? What if you went against the grain? What if you did what all thought that you could not do? What if you had the unconditional love and support behind you when it mattered? What if you were meant to give the unconditional love and support to someone?

Barry, the bee, took a chance and discovered that what he wanted ended up hurting everyone. Luckily for Barry, this did not stop his family and friends from supporting him. He realized his mistake, made it right with some modifications. Happy Ending.

I feel that today a lot of people do not take the chance anymore. They do not want to get involved. They will support you with the least path of resistance. Ready to tell you of your failings. Some even make fun of the whole thing and will not let you forget it. If it does not directly affect them, then they will not give you the time of day. They may even say, "I wish I had the courage to do what your doing" and offer nothing more. They will not disrupt their comfort zone. Have you ever said, I should do this, or try that and didn't because you did not want to leave your comfort zone? We had protests in the 1960's and 1970's because people felt their voices needed and should be heard, regardless of the consequences. People gave power to each other. It was a right to do so. They joined together and tried their best to fight the cause with passion. What happened to that belief? Why have we become so complacent with our own well being? It doesn't have to be something so major or world changing.  It could be something as simple as trying something new, reaching out to someone, changing ourselves on the inside or whatever it is that your passionate about Something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Truly supporting someone who is doing something you may not have an opinion about but believe in them to do so.

I have seen this movie for what seems like a million times and tonight it has inspired me to start this blog. The thing is we will never know what will inspire us to do something.  We just need to be open to it when the passion strikes and willing to take the step out of our own comfort zones. What are you passionate about? What will take you out of your comfort zone? When will you truly start living life with the passion that is hidden inside you?

Until next time,
It is what it is and  I am who I am