I am sure there are a few of you that can agree to that statement.
I also realize that there is nothing we can do about it. What is done is done. No amount of wishing can change it.
So, why cry or pout about it? Let's leave the problems in the past but keep the lessons.
If I wronged you, It wasn't intentional. I was just wrapped up in my own stuff, I am sorry.
If you wronged me, lesson learned. I am over it.
If we don't talk any longer, I do wish you well. I have let it go.
I am certain 2019 will bring its fair share of problems, but I will not let it bring me down, I will let it shape me to be a better me.
Yeah, that last sentence was a bit much, even for me. Lol
I did learn. I am in a constant state of learning. We all are. So how about this instead?
We are human, we will continue to make mistakes, and we will learn from them. We may even be able to look back on the years problems and say, "I am different and realize what is worth keeping and what to let go of."
The Holiday's do not always bring out the warm 'n fuzzy feelings of Peace, Love, and Hope for everyone.
No, they can bring out the, Stink, Stank, and Stunk, making us a Mr. Grinch during the Holiday's.
Holiday's are times filled with family, friends, happiness, etc....
So, what happens when we do not have that happy family life? Our friends have families of their own to spend time with during the holidays. What if, we have been so broken during the year, we can't find the joy of the holiday's? What if, we are so stressed out by life, that we have become Mr. Grinch?
We all know what happened to the Grinch. He faced a cold cruel life and allowed it shrink his love towards others. So much so, that he wanted everyone to be as miserable as he was feeling.
As soon as he was shown Kindness, his feelings of cruelty simply faded away.
A simple act of kindness can change a person's life in the most amazing ways.
The next time you come across a, Mr. Grinch, show kindness instead. Reach out and make time for those in ways that you do not normally do.
We all make time for what we want when we want, this is no different.
Think about it. Holiday's are not just about us and who we know in our world, it is about others.
Or is it so important to you that you are right, first, and get that perfect gift,
2 teenagers left for school today. Both had asked if I would be home and then hurriedly stated that they didn't need a ride or anything, they just wanted to know. I took the mandatory pictures and they said, "Bye!" No teary goodbyes, just Bye!
I am not sure what I expected but I guess I did expect something.
People discuss the empty nest phase. They still live with me but I kinda felt like that today.
My oldest son took me out to lunch. It was a good visit with him but I still felt blah all day.
The problem with this picture is, they are only showing the parents perspective and not the child's.
They are not showing them running out of the car or house with the excitement of being free from us. The excitement of being free to hang with their friends and make their own choices.
Nope.
Not one sole has told me how I would feel in these moments when I discover the fact that this is what happens when you raise your kids to be independent functioning members of society.
I am grateful that my oldest still wants to have lunch with me. That he still discusses his life and asks my opinion on things. I love the adult relationship that we now have and I know I will try to foster the same in the others. In my defense, when he was a teen, I still had 3 more kids to get through.
But for now, I find myself looking at the clock in anticipation for the teens to come bursting through the door, not wanting to discuss their day but rather, if I had made them a snack cause they will be starving or if they can go over so n so's house before dinner.
Of course I have snacks waiting, what else was I going to do today?
So, this new you, how does it feel? Feel like your circle just got a lot smaller?
Relationships can suck. The fake ones always hurt the most because we don't see them coming.
You do not have to tolerate them any longer. No. You. Don't.
That part of you is so over. You deserve people who genuinely care about you in your circle.
First off, you have come along way. Give yourself a break, you deserve it. Changing who you are isn't easy.
You have decided who you want to be. Now that you are here, what to do with those relationships and how to make new ones.....
You have to be able to take and deal with the truths of who you were and are. Those actions need to have an answer. Apologize for your actions and to those who you hurt. You have to be able to see the harm that you caused others. It is a lesson and a perspective you need in order to truly move forward.
You have made the decision to own it. Now so do. Actively own it. Atone for what you did.
Decide who is being real with you. You will know. They are the ones that will want to hear your story and the whys. Even if they think they know the answers, they will still want to hear your story from you. They will offer their version and take responsibility for their part also. Offer forgiveness and ask for it in return. Then it will feel like, just another chapter in the relationship and it continues like old times but it is a new chapter. (Understand? Comfortable with that person but on new ground)
The others will just listen and be like ok. They will continue to center the relationship according to their needs, regardless of how you feel. Act like what you have gone through was no biggie. No voice of concern or seeking forgiveness for their part either.
You will not be alone. You will have one or a few friends who genuinely care for your well being.
You are making a new circle and that takes time to build. Challenge yourself to step outside the box and try new things, places, attend new events, (alone if you have to) and discover this new you.
You are strong enough. Yes, it might be lonely at first.
Remember you want and deserve this. Now, let go of the past you, past mistakes, and truly forgive others and yourself.
Let. It. Out.
and
Let. It. Go.
Will it hurt? Certainly so. Will it be worth it? Totally.
Yes, this is my fridge. I opened the fridge this morning and saw the coffee syrup hanging off the edge, of the shelf, just a bit. One of my kids no doubt.
This silly little thing gave me pause. How often do we do something and never give it any more thought?
No regard to our careless act. We mean no harm. We just didn't give any thought to our actions.
Today I will do my best to give thought in all of my actions.
Maybe, just maybe, if we all did this, then today's society will only know kindness.
Check-in time again......Your new path, in dealing with, your living illusions free version of life?
"Living with these shadows, Separating what I've done."
The past, is just that, The Past. Take the bad as lessons learned. Things you would never do again lessons. It will always be there, Always. You cannot run from it or even forget about it. Let that shit shape you into who you do not want to ever be again. Unless...there are parts that you want to keep.
"Too many people with their hands on. None of which I gave a shit about anyway."
The Good things from the past. It wasn't all bad. You can look back now. See the people in your life who are real (KEEP THOSE PEEPS) and the fake ones (DROP IMMEDIATELY! YES, NOW).
"Stripping Down and Bracing for a Change."
Keep the parts about you that are real and like. No point in being sarcastic, if you do like it. Quiet voice? There are times to NOT speak up and times when you ABSOLUTELY need to. Compassion is good, just draw the line when it turns into them taking more than what you are getting in return. Do not let any relationship, be one that only drains you. Yes, there will be times when you give more than you get BUT it should only be "times". There will also be times you take more than you give. Balance of who you are, who they are, and what you both do to enhance each other. Continually Growing.
"Shedding all my skin to start again."
Remember that. Change is hard. There will be times of, 10 feet forward and 20 feet back moments. Go easy on yourself. You cannot forgive others if you do not FORGIVE YOURSELF first.
"Someday I'll begin to live my life."
You are getting there. Patience, drive, and the memory of what was, will carry you to be who you truly desire to be. Don't give up. Ever...…..
It comes and goes in waves
It always runs back but it's never quite the same
Well I think there's something wrong with me
Got nothing to believe, can't you see it on my face.
I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh
Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away
When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
(Deep water)
(Deep water)
Ain't even scratched the surface
Thinking I deserve the dream but I don't deserve the hurting
I want the flame without the burning
But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is
I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh
Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away
When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
(Deep water)
(Deep water)
When I'm sinking like a stone
At least I know I'm not alone
When I'm sinking like a stone
At least I know I'm not alone
When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
(Deep water)
(Deep water)
When I'm sinking like a stone
At least I know I'm not alone
It comes and goes in waves
It always runs back but it's never quite the same
Life's road is not always a smooth one. Rather it can be filled with twists, turns, hills, road blocks, and detours. This may seem unfair. Life can be unexplainable at times.
Sometimes, even the road washes away, completely.
Difficult times will define you. Allow the experience to direct you.
In order to truly understand who we are, sometimes we have to experience being in deep waters.
Do you think that we are predestined to meet certain people throughout our lives?
Ever have someone come into your life at a time when you are going through turmoil? You have no idea how you will manage to make it and this person has given you the ability to survive it and move on.
What about when things are good? They show up and the next thing you realize is you have grown as a person or your life is so much fuller.
Those odd moments when a complete stranger says something that has a profound affect on you?
Maybe even those friends that can offer a view of life from a different perspective?
It is easy to walk through this life being closed off to those not in your immediate circle. Only trusting in the select few. Only sharing your story to those that you deem worthy.
Imagine how much you are missing out by not accepting the fact that maybe the person who keeps popping up in your life, out of nowhere or even a friend you think has all the answers, just may actually have the piece to your past, present, or future.
And sometimes it is exactly what we need, when we need it. Even if we don't know it, yet.
"If you take it down a notch and you let me explain"
You have decided to live in the reality of the life that you have created. You are accepting the environment that you are in and hopefully ridding yourself of the illusions that no longer serve you.
You are working on you, making goals and crushing them. Except that you found out,
"you're not special"
That there will be no "15 minutes" of fame for you. That there is so much you want to accomplish and you want it all now. You feel you deserve it after all that you have been through.
"I'm not trying to bring you down
I'm not trying to sound so ineffectual"
We all, have fought in our own wars. We all, have had hard times. We all, have been hurt so badly. You see, you are not the only one who has had it bad, or even the worst of times. The last time I checked, Life can suck, just as much as it can be perfect. Why do YOU think that makes you any different from her, him, them, or even me? Wanna compare scars? Why?
"You see life's too short to run it like a race
So it's never gonna matter if you win first place"
Instead of believing that you deserve fame(for whateva reasons)why not just focus on making your life better? Take each moment for what it is. Do the best with what you have been dealt. Stop self medicating. Face it, deal with it, and move on. Turn to people you know that will give you, an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, a hug for comfort, and a kick in the ass when needed.
"Hurry up before you go and get old
Hurry up before your blood runs cold
None of us were ever meant to stay
We're all gonna find out one day"
The sooner you make the best of your situation, the sooner you will realize,
