Call me old fashion but I will take the old fashion way of dating any day over what is happening today.
I was talking with a friend and we realized that being old fashioned is what is missing today. Men and women are looking for love. Let's face it, guys do not, for the most part, understand women. So whatever makes her happy, makes him happy. That will always be the same, no matter what generation you are from.
Dating the old fashioned way has its perks. There was no rush.
A guy would talk with a woman and get to know her, then ask her out. Plan the evening with what he learned about her. Surprise her. Possibly bringing her flowers. Walking to her door to greet her. Escort her to the car. Open the car door and guide her into it. Commenting her on her outfit. Making it known that he appreciates her. Making small talk to continue to get to know her. Remembering what she likes and doesn't. He gives her his full attention, always. He walks her to the door again at the end of the evening and kisses her goodnight. Leaving them both filled with anticipation for the next time they will meet. If it didn't work out then no harm done.
Taking time with each other builds a bond, brings out anticipation, and deepens the connection between both. Talking, laughing and sharing with each other in a non sexual way brings an intimacy that I think is missing from today's relationships. Knowing each other so well that you finish each other's thoughts, thinking of each other at the exact same time when you're not together, and being able to saying anything, anything at all is how you become one. Sexual chemistry comes from that. Do not confuse chemistry with love.
You can't build on chemistry. You can't substitute love, respect, trust, and admiration with sexual chemistry. Security doesn't come from chemistry. You can have great sex and not be compatible.
Most people these days, when dating, jump into sex first and then try to figure the rest out.
Men and women are looking for security, intimacy, trust, and a real love, that they will give up themselves for it. Both are going about it the wrong way. They find out afterwards that it wasn't her or he wasn't the right guy. The chemistry was there, but real love wasn't.
I say there is something to be said for being old fashion. Taking the time get to know each other before responding to the chemistry, will bring out real love, if it is there to begin with.
You will spend a lot less time finding the one, if you just leave the chemistry out of the relationship in the beginning. Build on being friends first, intimacy second, and sex last.
But what do I know, I am just an old fashioned woman who believes in romance......
Until next time,
~It is what it is~
http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview
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