I have been asked if a post was about them personally. Ummm....maybe? Not in a I need to tell you this kinda way. This is not a blog to use as a shield. There are no under lying messages being sent through my blog. I am direct. I have an issue with you, I will tell you.
I post because something strikes me. Someone could benefit from it. It does not not mean I am going through something either.
I believe in me. I believe in you. I believe that sometimes you need to hear something when you are ready to hear it. Not "you" in a personal sense, in a general sense.
If you do not get anything from this blog, no worries.
Life is way too short to worry about who likes this or who doesn't.
If I can bring a smile, snarky or not, to one single person, than I can live with that.
If I spent my life worrying about the haters or pleasing everyone, than I wouldn't be me.
Believe me when I say, I don't like me when I am not me, and you wouldn't either. I know this for a fact because I have been lost. I am no different from you. I just vocalize what you may be thinking.
Do what makes you happy.
Chances are someone, somewhere, will benefit from it.
One random act of kindness has to start somewhere, so why not here?
What do you think is stronger, the heart or mind? Which one is easier to satisfy? To fulfill? To soothe?
The mind is easier to feed. The heart, well, that is where all of our emotions are kept.
Where the true hunger begins.
What do you feed your heart? We need to be careful when we feed it. What our state of mind is in. What state our emotions are in. The heart is simple and knows what it wants. It wants to be fed.
If you can't figure out what to feed your heart, you will start feeding it with anything. The heart will not be able to determine what is a lie. The heart wants to be loved, respected, validated, and fulfilled to a point of constant contentment.
The heart will lead you to love. What if the heart is so hungry for love, that it will leap based on emotions only? It will respond to another heart that is offering it love. That love can be given with a price.
A hungry heart will accept the love given to it even if there is no respect given. No trust. No kindness. No friendship. Will believe all the excuses given.
Will believe all the lies it is fed.
Will believe this is what love is.
Will never know what it deserves.
It starts with the mind.
Feed your mind with the respect, love, and kindness you deserve.
Teach your mind to hear the truth, even when it hurts.
Feed your mind with all the good that you deserve and the heart will believe.
A heart fed with love, kindness and respect, will be a heart well fed and fulfilled to a constant contentment.
The heart will be able to hear a lie and refuse it.
Feed your heart well and it will learn to only accept the truth when it is hungry.
Love and relationships talk about a landslide of emotions. It is very personal indeed, yet we all seem to be experts or know nothing about it at all. We first learn about love from our parents or the people who raise us.
Ever wonder why Love can be so very beautiful and so very painful at the same time? It is all subjective to our feelings and what we know to be true but only for us.
I don't think we ever should say, if you love me you will do this for me or anything to that affect.
We forget that love is free. We cannot demand it. That is it's beauty. The pain comes when we try to control it or try to shape it into what we deem what is best.
Any parent knows this to be true. We give our children an unconditional love. We want what we think is best for them. We do for the most part. It is painful for a parent to allow their children to make their own choices and see them fail. We want to protect and save them from any and all harm that this life can bring to them.
I think it is because we, as parents, have ourselves learned what the value of love is and the cost. We do not want our children or the ones we love going through the pain it can bring. We want them to learn from our mistakes and also not make the same ones. But that is not really loving someone freely, is it? They have to learn just as we did. We need to give the wisdom that we have obtained over the years and love them enough to allow them to learn, grow and become wise themselves.
The art of letting go is a hard one to master. One that our loved ones want us to do so easily. So we have to learn to allow the landslides to happen. We can only watch. Be there to offer our wisdom through guidance only. We do let go. If they fall we can just offer our love as comfort.
Love is free and should never come with a price, even when it costs us dearly.
I want to be able to look back on my life and be able to see clearly the love that I have shown to others, never came at a price but given freely.
Sometimes you can get so caught up in what other's think and say about you.
Doing this will lead you to place your self-esteem and self-confidence in the hands of other people and not your own.
Your opinion of you should be the only one that concerns you. Never give someone that kind of power over you.
I am reminded of this every time my daughter mismatches her outfits. I used to make her change. Then one day I noticed that she was confident in her style. In her self. I realized, that by me asking her to change, I was telling her that what she liked wasn't good enough for me. In that moment I stopped. One time she asked me if what she had on was ok? I told her if it's fine for her, then it is fine with me.
I can't send a message of being an independent woman one minute and then make her second guess herself the next.
I can teach her values, morals, and kindness.
I can show her, by allowing her to be her, self-esteem and self-confidence.
And if people talk about her, well, that's their problem, isn't it?
It is okay to seek other's opinions. Make sure that is all your doing.
Call me old fashion but I will take the old fashion way of dating any day over what is happening today.
I was talking with a friend and we realized that being old fashioned is what is missing today. Men and women are looking for love. Let's face it, guys do not, for the most part, understand women. So whatever makes her happy, makes him happy. That will always be the same, no matter what generation you are from.
Dating the old fashioned way has its perks. There was no rush.
A guy would talk with a woman and get to know her, then ask her out. Plan the evening with what he learned about her. Surprise her. Possibly bringing her flowers. Walking to her door to greet her. Escort her to the car. Open the car door and guide her into it. Commenting her on her outfit. Making it known that he appreciates her. Making small talk to continue to get to know her. Remembering what she likes and doesn't. He gives her his full attention, always. He walks her to the door again at the end of the evening and kisses her goodnight. Leaving them both filled with anticipation for the next time they will meet. If it didn't work out then no harm done.
Taking time with each other builds a bond, brings out anticipation, and deepens the connection between both. Talking, laughing and sharing with each other in a non sexual way brings an intimacy that I think is missing from today's relationships. Knowing each other so well that you finish each other's thoughts, thinking of each other at the exact same time when you're not together, and being able to saying anything, anything at all is how you become one. Sexual chemistry comes from that. Do not confuse chemistry with love.
You can't build on chemistry. You can't substitute love, respect, trust, and admiration with sexual chemistry. Security doesn't come from chemistry. You can have great sex and not be compatible.
Most people these days, when dating, jump into sex first and then try to figure the rest out.
Men and women are looking for security, intimacy, trust, and a real love, that they will give up themselves for it. Both are going about it the wrong way. They find out afterwards that it wasn't her or he wasn't the right guy. The chemistry was there, but real love wasn't.
I say there is something to be said for being old fashion. Taking the time get to know each other before responding to the chemistry, will bring out real love, if it is there to begin with.
You will spend a lot less time finding the one, if you just leave the chemistry out of the relationship in the beginning. Build on being friends first, intimacy second, and sex last.
But what do I know, I am just an old fashioned woman who believes in romance......
I watched Angry Birds last week. The movie stayed with me. I couldn't put aside until I heard this song. Then it just clicked with me. This is the story that was building inside me this past week.
Red is the Angry Bird. He has reason's for being Angry. Valid ones at that. We can all relate to anger. For some of us, anger can consume us. We can't seem to let it go. Anger just moves in and becomes us. Turns us into something we can no longer control.
Someone once told me that depression is anger turned inward. When we can't let go of the anger, it turns us against us. We become angry about everything all the time. We can't explain it to anyone and no one cares to be around us anymore either. A bad catch 22.
When one bad event happens, we can brush it off. But what about when it is one thing after another? How do we keep it together? How can we be expected to just roll with it?
You have become the Bad Man Behind Blue Eyes and hated or at least, disliked.
Now your An Angry Bird, like RED. You feel that anything you attempt turns sour, gets messed up, and your intentions are not what you had intended them to be. So why try any more then?
In the movie, Red does end up with a support system who sees behind his Anger and bonds are formed. Red becomes less angry and life gets better for him.
That is a movie though. Can it happen in real life?
I am going to tell you that life happens in cycles. Good ones and Bad ones. From personal experience, when you hold onto anger for one thing, and another, and another, you will blow up at one situation and once that flood gate is opened, you cannot stop it. Trust me. You will let all this anger flow out of you and you can only watch it like an outer body experience but it is actually happening in the here and now. The damage is being done, as you watch in horror. Oddly enough you will feel relieved to have let all this anger out. Like a weight has been lifted and you have been freed.
I am going to tell you to speak up for yourself. I will tell you to continue to believe in yourself. I will tell you to be vocal in the moment. I will tell you to learn how to say, NO, loud n clear, and it is okay to do so.
I am going to tell you, that you control you. You have a voice worth hearing. And yes bad things happen in life. That does not mean you deserved them to happen to you!!! Bad things are just bad things, just like good things are good things. You did nothing to make it happen to you. I repeat,
"YOU DID NOTHING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN TO YOU!!!!"
They are random. If you do not accept your Angry Bird side and let it go, you most definitely will become somebody who is not you. Nobody will get the chance to love you. Know you. Experience life through your eyes. Hear the song in your voice. The beauty that lies within you.
You cannot possibly know what your pushing out of your life and who you are not keeping in because of your anger.
Do not let the Red Angry Bird inside you allow you to become the Bad Man Behind Blue Eyes.
That is what it is all about, isn't? Showing the ones we love everything we have and then hope that they can handle it.
We want them to see the darkness we have and not jump ship. We want them to stick it out. Stay with us. Prove to us they truly have our backs. Thick and Thin. Nothing we can possibly do will ever make them leave us.
So, if we all seek this acceptance from another, then why is it so hard to forgive someone when they cross the line of what we think is enough?
How many times can you forgive someone?
The Bible says each and every time they seek forgiveness.
Buddhists see forgiveness as an important method, along with meditation, of achieving inner peace and right thinking.
This is the law of Karma, which is Sanskrit for "Comeback." "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."
Forgiveness is the easy part I think. We can forgive someone for their injustice against us. We can let go of what they did, if they are sincere about it.
It is about love. How much do I love this person will determine if I keep them in my life. Yes it is that simple. Real love allows us to continue to love them with the same passion before their needing our forgiveness. (I am not talking abusive behavior here in any form)
Real love will cast out any issues that cause us not wanting to forgive. Honesty will allow us to build the relationship back to where it needs to be. Understanding we all have flaws, will allow us to let it go.
We all have been disappointed, let down, pushed, tested, and whatever you can think of, when it comes to the ones we love.
We need to realize that we can't judge someone. Nope. Not. Anyone. Last time I checked, not one single person on this earth is perfect.
We need to be sure our actions didn't bring the injustice out.
We know in our hearts if the love we share is real. Real love is genuine, hard and so worth it.
Think twice, three times or how ever many times it takes before you jump ship. People tend to give up when it becomes difficult. There are not too many things in this world that come easy that are truly worth it. There is a reason for that.....
