Do you remember?

I love the feeling of being so free. The ocean, sand, and sun, do that for me.  Being at the beach brings me an inner peace like nothing else.

I went with the kids to our favorite beach today. Beautiful day, huge waves and lots of sun. We rode the waves, explored, relaxed, saw a baby shark and had a picnic.

I taught my daughter how to ride the waves and a boogie board today, as I did with my boys when they were younger. We had so much fun. She kept wiping out in the beginning. I told her that we should take a break for a bit. She responded with, "No, I just need to push through, it is what it is. Let's do it again."

She reminded me the perspective of being a kid. If your having fun, your having fun, why stop?

I love days like today. They are great reminders that every once in a while we need to put the adult stuff aside and act like a kid again.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~

Actually......

Actually people can change for a number of reasons. People can be fake. People will show you a side that they only want you to see.

I think people eventually just show their true colors. There may be subtle flags along the way but your too into the relationship to notice or you can justify the flag and dismiss it.

Sometimes they slowly change. Behaviors become more secretive, personality slowly changes and their interest in you is not what it used to be. They do not need you. Your there for their moment only. What you want doesn't matter to them. Their needs are being met and that is all there is to the relationship.

To try and comfort someone who goes through this really isn't possible. They have to go through it on their own. I told this person that sometimes people just put on an act of not being selfish. Flags were there but people don't change who they are for long. Their personality slips here and there. I think when you love someone unconditionally, you just accept them for who they are. If you believe your needs are being met than you can accept the bad with the good. I think that's why you don't see the bad as being really bad. It is more of a "Nobody's Perfect" kinda deal.

Let's face it, we are all human and each have our own quirks. We all want to find someone who can accept us, fully, unconditionally, quirks n all. So when we start keeping track of the flags and hurts they bring, it is time to accept them for who they are. Very rarely do people change their personality very much. Bringing it to their attention and then their behavior changes only for a time. Tells you it is never going to change. Ever. The decision is up to you. Should allow yourself to continue depends on what you feel you deserve. If your thinking that you deserve better than leave. If you can put up with whateva it is, (to be clear here if you are being abused emotionally or physically run out that door, now!!) Then ask yourself why you are willing to give that up? Is what you are getting really enough to last forever?

Believe you deserve the best love story, because you most certainly do. Regardless what type of relationship it is, everyone deserves to be treated with love n respect. Period. Do not allow them to tell you how you should feel.

Sometimes people need a wake up call and do just that when you point out what's buggin you. Misunderstandings can be a relationship killer for sure. Sometimes people are going through their own thing, independent of you and just didn't realize what an ass they have become. We tend to take things out on the person we love the most sometimes.

And sometimes we can see only what we want to see. When someone no longer loves you the way they did in the beginning, then it wasn't real, Real love withstands all hardships and joys.

Remember, anything worth having, is so worth the effort. Just be sure they are making an effort too.



Until next time,
~It is what it is~



***I know. Unbelievable that I came across this. It has to mean something!!***

There will be a Rainbow...

Storms do not care if you are strong, weak, or already have too much on your plate. They will be unpredictable and sometimes fierce.

It is difficult to see past the storm we are in.  The storm can be so relentless that we may even feel like just giving into it by allowing it to consume us. 

We often make the storm worse by not remembering what anchors us. We forget that we do have our circle. People who are willing to lend support. Praying to what we believe in. A place to go, to let it all go. An activity that will release the pressure we are feeling. 

We need to do these things, so we can face the storm with a renewed strength when it seems unbearable. We can become so caught up in the storm itself, we do not remember that the storm is a temporary thing and will eventually end.

Storms will come and go but how we handle them, will determine when we see the rainbow.

Until then, do what you need to do to survive it. 

The rainbow always comes out at the end of the storm. Showing us that it is in fact over and you did survive it. 

Survive it you will, never doubt that.

Until next time,

~It is what it is~

$1.58 is the best money you will ever spend!!!

I had errands to run today. Sometimes I go by myself. When I am tired and I worked a long day (like today) I like to go by myself, it's quicker. Let's face it, I am always tired. I was heading out the door and my daughter asked to go with me. I was like ok, but we have to do this.

She accompanied me. I like all kinds of music but my daughter is a strictly pop kind of girl.  I put the radio station she likes on and off we went. Did what I had to do. She didn't complain. I decided to pull into the QT. She was like what do you need here? I looked at her and said how about an ice cream cone? She smiles and says yes!!

For 2 vanilla ice cream cones the total was $1.58. The time spent with her, priceless!! On the drive home, I started thinking that this month has been a busy month for me and us as a family. School ending for the kids. My teenagers have stuff going on.Work has been hectic and personal stuff chaotic for me.

I spend time with my kids as much as I can. Life just gets so busy sometimes that I forget to actually stop and enjoy it. Don't get me wrong I do things with my kids. We have our adventures. But by taking Kell with me tonight and stopping to get a cone, made me realize that sometimes we all can get caught up with what's in front/around us, that we neglect those moments we need to be having with family and friends that aren't always around us.

It is not that we do not value them, we just get caught up in the here and now, that we forget we need more than the here and now.

We can't always have the attitude that if they had the time, they would call. My number hasn't changed. Or I don't want to bother them, their busy too.

What if they need an interruption to their day? What if your just what they need in that moment?

What if we think they are too busy or we don't want to bother them and they feel the same way?

If we continue to go with that way of thinking, nobody will make the time for each other.

I think we need to take the time to evaluate who is important in our lives. Who do you think you would want to make the time for you? Who do you miss? When was the last time you saw so n so?

We all have wicked busy lives. Why let that stop you from living it with the people that matter to you?

Spontaneity is a wonderful thing. So is planning. $1.58 will get you two ice cream cones.

Why wait for an invitation? Send one. Who would you like to join you?






Until next time,
~It is what it is~

To All the Dad's

This day has been set aside just for you.

May you be able to relax.

Be spoiled by the ones that call you Dad.

Spend the day with laughter and joy.

Surrounded by the ones you love.

Happy Father's Day.

Are you Willing?

I stumbled across this quote today by, Joseph Campbell.

How often do we think we have our lives figured out or planned to the T and then life has other plans for us. It can be daunting and very frustrating.

The simple response to life would be just to go with it when things change. For some of us, it's easier said then done.

We like to be in control of our lives for many reasons. But we need to ask ourselves if those reasons are valid enough to stop us from living our lives. We need to be sure the reasons we do not want to change our path is not from our personality, insecurity, fear, holding on to what we know, or stubbornness.

We may have a controlling personality. Did you ever ask yourself why that is? Maybe you know the answer already. Most times it's because we have had our life thrown into unexpected chaos. Could be that we grew up having to control our own circumstances because everything and everyone around us was out of control. We were the calm that everyone else needed. So we learned to control our circumstances around us. How can we learn to let go and let life be what it is, if we only know one way to live?

We tend get complacent with life. We feel that we are content. What if we are capable of so much more? Is holding on to the life we know worth missing out on what life could be for us?

Stubbornness is really our inability to see things from another perspective. We may feel that we know what's best and that is that. How can we possibly know what is best for us if we are not willing to at least try to view life from another perspective?

Fears have the right to stop us. If you feel that the reason for your fear is valid. Depending on what the fear is. But is it worth allowing the fear to stop us from living?

Our personality, stubbornness, holding on and fear IS what's stopping us from living our lives to the fullest. Our reasons are just excuses we tell ourselves. Time does heal all wounds but its also makes us smarter when we are completely healed. Smart enough to see things for how they really were and definitely smart enough not to make the same mistakes that derailed us in the first place.

We need to accept the fact that life does change our path and unless we are willing to leave the path we were on, go, we will never know what life has in store for us. We maybe missing out on the best version of us if we don't let it all go and let life take us in a new direction, reacquaint us with the things we need or give us the life we truly deserve.

I ask you, are you willing to let life be, wherever it takes you?

Until next time,
~It is what it is~ 

What is a Soulmate to you?

Soulmate~A person with whom you have a strong affinity.

Affinity~A natural liking for or attraction to person, etc.

Attraction~A person or thing that draws, allures, entices.

Allure~To fascinate: charm.

Fascinate~To attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, or unusual nature.

I find that the definition of the soulmate does not say, "with whom you love like no other, rather it does say, "affinity".  Soulmate doesn't mention love. Affinity, attraction, allure, and fascinate do not either. I decided to look up the word Love and see what it really means.

Love~A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Okay. Let's try passion then.

Passion~Any powerful or compelling emotion, as love or hate.

hmmm....Passion as in love or hate. Does this mean that true loves passion is to bring out every emotion in us? Maybe to the point of bringing us to the verge of hating the same person we love? Not hating exactly, more like this soulmate of ours will make us feel everything that we have to feel with a passion we never knew we had inside us. Good or Bad.

Everyone wants to believe that we will end up with our soulmate. We want the perfect relationship for us and we want it to last forever. Peaches n Cream. Romance. Fun. Adventures. Passion. Laughter. Perfection.

Is that enough to make it last forever? Can it be that easy? I don't know about you but, nothing in life worth having is easy. How about those Roses n Thorns? Don't we want it all in a partner? Our perfect match. I think that it means our soulmate brings us the perfect mix of peaches, roses, cream, and yes, thorns.

What does all this mean? It means that you are with someone who loves you unconditionally and for all that you are. There is an unexplained draw between the two of you. Not for completeness in each other but a feeling of emptiness without each other.

The person who doesn't agree with all of your decisions. They challenge all of your decisions. They make you question things.  They give you a new perspective. They give you truth when no one else will. They will make you take stock of your life. They will push your buttons, and sometimes will do it willingly. Regardless how annoying it may be. They may even take a little joy in that.

They support who you are. What you do. They inspire you to be all that you can be. They give you strength. They do not ask you to change who you are. They do not ask you to put aside things for them. They do the dishes when you are too tired. They do not keep a score card. Things are done with love and an ease. Never to be used against you.

They allow you to uncover all of your dark edges and hold them tenderly with you. They see you. They love you for it all. Dark edges, brilliant mind, giving heart, and the peace you hold inside that they give you. Size, shape, color, age and how your soul is packaged, is of no concern to them.

A soulmate's concern is of you. Doing the best for you and them. Having your back. Patience. Understanding.

Some believe that they are our match that was made before we even existed. They come into our lives as they if were fated to be there.

Does that mean they will be our significant other for the rest of our lives? Hopefully, but not all the time. We often do not see what is presented in front of us.  Even when it is smacking us in the face. We are too distracted at the moment, too scared of it or maybe they were to show us what could be if we dared.

Some believe we have many or they come as our dearest best friend, whom we could not do without.

One that, if your lucky enough, will be with you doing all of the above until you take your last breath. And that, to me, would be the true definition of a Soulmate.


Until next time,
~It is what it is~