Keep moving forward....

The ACT. Have you really forgiven a person? I mean totally forgot what they have done to you? Or, do you still remember the pain and actions?

To truly forgive means to let it go. To forget the actions that caused the pain.

So much easier said than done. 

Start within yourself.

Acknowledging your action is the first step.

Understanding is the next.

Asking to be forgiven with a sincere heart.

Receiving forgiveness or not.

Now, let it go. Move on.

It won't be the same or it will be better.

Strength, can come from our own vulnerability. 

Waiting for someone to ask you for forgiveness?

You may be waiting a long time.

Acceptance of the situation. Really look clearly at the facts. Take out the emotions.

Realize that you may not be as important as you thought to that person or your role in their life.

There is forgiveness in allowing yourself to let it go and walk away.

Bottom line here is this,

You can't force anything. Timing, has no meaning if either are not ready nor willing.

Do not hold onto past actions. 

Keep moving forward.

How you treat others, is a mirror of your character, not theirs.

Always.

Until Next Time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Of course I have snacks.....

2 teenagers left for school today. Both had asked if I would be home and then hurriedly stated that they didn't need a ride or anything, they just wanted to know. I took the mandatory pictures and they said, "Bye!" No teary goodbyes, just Bye!

I am not sure what I expected but I guess I did expect something.

People discuss the empty nest phase. They still live with me but I kinda felt like that today.

My oldest son took me out to lunch. It was a good visit with him but I still felt blah all day.

The problem with this picture is, they are only showing the parents perspective and not the child's.

They are not showing them running out of the car or house with the excitement of being free from us. The excitement of being free to hang with their friends and make their own choices.

Nope. 

Not one sole has told me how I would feel in these moments when I discover the fact that this is what happens when you raise your kids to be independent functioning members of society.

I am grateful that my oldest still wants to have lunch with me. That he still discusses his life and asks my opinion on things. I love the adult relationship that we now have and I know I will try to foster the same in the others. In my defense, when he was a teen, I still had 3 more kids to get through.

But for now, I find myself looking at the clock in anticipation for the teens to come bursting through the door, not wanting to discuss their day but rather, if I had made them a snack cause they will be starving or if they can go over so n so's house before dinner.

Of course I have snacks waiting, what else was I going to do today?




Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~

Way To Be...............

Check in time.....

So, this new you, how does it feel? Feel like your circle just got a lot smaller?

Relationships can suck. The fake ones always hurt the most because we don't see them coming.

You do not have to tolerate them any longer. No. You. Don't.

That part of you is so over. You deserve people who genuinely care about you in your circle.

First off, you have come along way. Give yourself a break, you deserve it. Changing who you are isn't easy.

You have decided who you want to be. Now that you are here, what to do with those relationships and how to make new ones.....

You have to be able to take and deal with the truths of who you were and are. Those actions need to have an answer. Apologize for your actions and to those who you hurt. You have to be able to see the harm that you caused others. It is a lesson and a perspective you need in order to truly move forward.

You have made the decision to own it. Now so do. Actively own it. Atone for what you did.

Decide who is being real with you. You will know. They are the ones that will want to hear your story and the whys. Even if they think they know the answers, they will still want to hear your story from you. They will offer their version and take responsibility for their part also. Offer forgiveness and ask for it in return. Then it will feel like, just another chapter in the relationship and it continues like old times but it is a new chapter. (Understand? Comfortable with that person but on new ground)

The others will just listen and be like ok. They will continue to center the relationship according to their needs, regardless of how you feel. Act like what you have gone through was no biggie. No voice of concern or seeking forgiveness for their part either.

You will not be alone. You will have one or a few friends who genuinely care for your well being.

You are making a new circle and that takes time to build. Challenge yourself to step outside the box and try new things, places, attend new events, (alone if you have to) and discover this new you.

You are strong enough. Yes, it might be lonely at first.

Remember you want and deserve this. Now, let go of the past you, past mistakes, and truly forgive others and yourself.

Let. It. Out.

and

Let. It. Go.


Will it hurt? Certainly so. Will it be worth it? Totally.



It is the only Way To Be...……..



Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~




http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview


*I do not own the rights to this video or song*

Random Acts of Kindness....

Yes, this is my fridge. I opened the fridge this morning and saw the coffee syrup hanging off the edge, of the shelf, just a bit. One of my kids no doubt.

This silly little thing gave me pause. How often do we do something and never give it any more thought?

No regard to our careless act. We mean no harm. We just didn't give any thought to our actions.

Today I will do my best to give thought in all of my actions.

Maybe, just maybe, if we all did this, then today's society will only know kindness.


Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~

Separating what I've done........

Check-in time again......Your new path, in dealing with, your living illusions free version of life?

"Living with these shadows, Separating what I've done."

The past, is just that, The Past. Take the bad as lessons learned. Things you would never do again lessons. It will always be there, Always. You cannot run from it or even forget about it. Let that shit shape you into who you do not want to ever be again. Unless...there are parts that you want to keep.

"Too many people with their hands on. None of which I gave a shit about anyway."

The Good things from the past. It wasn't all bad. You can look back now. See the people in your life who are real (KEEP THOSE PEEPS) and the fake ones (DROP IMMEDIATELY! YES, NOW).

"Stripping Down and Bracing for a Change."

Keep the parts about you that are real and like. No point in being sarcastic, if you do like it. Quiet voice? There are times to NOT speak up and times when you ABSOLUTELY need to. Compassion is good, just draw the line when it turns into them taking more than what you are getting in return. Do not let any relationship, be one that only drains you. Yes, there will be times when you give more than you get BUT it should only be "times". There will also be times you take more than you give. Balance of who you are, who they are, and what you both do to enhance each other. Continually Growing.

"Shedding all my skin to start again."

Remember that. Change is hard. There will be times of, 10 feet forward and 20 feet back moments. Go easy on yourself. You cannot forgive others if you do not FORGIVE YOURSELF first.

"Someday I'll begin to live my life."

You are getting there. Patience, drive, and the memory of what was, will carry you to be who you truly desire to be. Don't give up. Ever...…..

"At Least I'm Breathing"

And you are...……


Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview


*I do not own the rights to this video or song lyrics*

At Least I know I'm not alone......

It comes and goes in waves
It always runs back but it's never quite the same
Well I think there's something wrong with me
Got nothing to believe, can't you see it on my face.


I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh
Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away

When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water

(Deep water)
(Deep water)

Ain't even scratched the surface
Thinking I deserve the dream but I don't deserve the hurting

I want the flame without the burning

But I can't find my purpose when I don't know what my worth is

I was going for the title, got hit by your tidal wave, uh
Can't stay in the shallows, please tell me I won't wash away


When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
(Deep water)

(Deep water)

When I'm sinking like a stone
At least I know I'm not alone
When I'm sinking like a stone
At least I know I'm not alone

When it pulls me under, will you make me stronger
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water
Take me farther, give me one day longer
Will you be my breath through the deep, deep water

(Deep water)
(Deep water)

When I'm sinking like a stone

At least I know I'm not alone

It comes and goes in waves

It always runs back but it's never quite the same 

Life's road is not always a smooth one. Rather it can be filled with twists, turns, hills, road blocks, and detours. This may seem unfair. Life can be unexplainable at times.

Sometimes, even the road washes away, completely.

Difficult times will define you. Allow the experience to direct you.

In order to truly understand who we are, sometimes we have to experience being in deep waters.

You are not alone.

Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

*I do not own the rights to this video or song lyrics*

Hey, don't I know you???

Do you agree with this statement?

Do you think that we are predestined to meet certain people throughout our lives?

Ever have someone come into your life at a time when you are going through turmoil? You have no idea how you will manage to make it and this person has given you the ability to survive it and move on.

What about when things are good? They show up and the next thing you realize is you have grown as a person or your life is so much fuller.

Those odd moments when a complete stranger says something that has a profound affect on you?

Maybe even those friends that can offer a view of life from a different perspective?

It is easy to walk through this life being closed off to those not in your immediate circle. Only trusting in the select few. Only sharing your story to those that you deem worthy.

Imagine how much you are missing out by not accepting the fact that maybe the person who keeps popping up in your life, out of nowhere or even a friend you think has all the answers, just may actually have the piece to your past, present, or future.

And sometimes it is exactly what we need, when we need it. Even if we don't know it, yet.

What if you are that someone to somebody???



Until next time,
~It is what it is~



http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview