"Hey Little Sister, what have you done?"
I do not discuss my martial status with the general population. I choose to keep it deeply personal and discuss it with only the select few, that I know, who genuinely care about my well being and growth. Not everyone had good intentions for you.
I was talking with someone going through a tough time in their marriage. This is what we came up with, as a generalization, when two single people, jointly decide, to be come one.
There are a lot of moments in any relationship. All of them allow you to grow, as you age. It is who you ultimately become. A mature functioning adult with a partner.
These are our top relationship moments:
The Beginning: Is so wonderful. The exploring of each other is so exciting. Everything we do is so cute and adorable. We give in to the wants of each other because we have our love goggles on. Making time for each other, giving up time spent with others, and doing couple things.
The not new but not the middle yet: Is tough. This is where it gets real. Where you learn if you have the chops to deal with the person you deemed cute and adorable just a few short moments ago. Kids, buying a home, and other stresses that bring out who we truly are.
The Middle: Why the Fuck did I marry you in the first place or you are my rock, time. You're rediscovering yourself, reinventing, or just reevaluating your life in general. Kids are able to take care of themselves, you are rediscovering couple things to do, you are doing things on your own, facing different challenges, and just trying to navigate the rest of your life. Many decide to continue with the marriage or not, during this time.
The Golden Years: Are just that, Golden. You both made it. You know who each of you are and you are truly meant for each other. There is a deep love, understanding, joy, happiness, and a comfort that is solid. Nothing else is needed because you have a full life with the right person for you.
We all evolve into who we are, eventually. Depending on one person for all of our needs, is not realistic. Soulmates may not be our romantic partner in life for some of us. They may be a friend who we happen upon, or a sibling. Do not confuse romance and a soulmate for a life partner. We have siblings, friends, and other people who make up our support network.
Realizing that we do not get to marry our soulmate or perfect partner, will only disappoint us in the end, BUT expectations are ridiculously harmful in the first place.
Bottom line here is this, you may have married the perfect person, your soul mate or not. The partner you choose, is a partner to share the ups and downs in life with and have a romantic connection with and more. It is the person who we need to spend the rest of our lives with and all that it brings.
So, Stop putting so much on your partner, and ask yourself this question?:
"Hey little sister, who's the one you need?"
Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~
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*I do not own the rights to this song or video.
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