It's a nice day for a white wedding........................

"Hey Little Sister, what have you done?"

I do not discuss my martial status with the general population. I choose to keep it deeply personal and discuss it with only the select few, that I know, who genuinely care about my well being and growth. Not everyone had good intentions for you.

I was talking with someone going through a tough time in their marriage. This is what we came up with, as a generalization, when two single people, jointly decide, to be come one.

There are a lot of moments in any relationship.  All of them allow you to grow, as you age. It is who you ultimately become. A mature functioning adult with a partner.

These are our top relationship moments:

The Beginning: Is so wonderful. The exploring of each other is so exciting. Everything we do is so cute and adorable. We give in to the wants of each other because we have our love goggles on. Making time for each other, giving up time spent with others, and doing couple things.

The not new but not the middle yet: Is tough. This is where it gets real. Where you learn if you have the chops to deal with the person you deemed cute and adorable just a few short moments ago. Kids, buying a home, and other stresses that bring out who we truly are.

The Middle: Why the Fuck did I marry you in the first place or you are my rock, time. You're rediscovering yourself, reinventing, or just reevaluating your life in general. Kids are able to take care of themselves, you are rediscovering couple things to do, you are doing things on your own, facing different challenges, and just trying to navigate the rest of your life. Many decide to continue with the marriage or not, during this time.

The Golden Years: Are just that, Golden. You both made it. You know who each of you are and you are truly meant for each other.  There is a deep love, understanding, joy, happiness, and a comfort that is solid. Nothing else is needed because you have a full life with the right person for you.

We all evolve into who we are, eventually. Depending on one person for all of our needs, is not realistic. Soulmates may not be our romantic partner in life for some of us. They may be a friend who we happen upon, or a sibling. Do not confuse romance and a soulmate for a life partner. We have siblings, friends, and other people who make up our support network.

Realizing that we do not get to marry our soulmate or perfect partner, will only disappoint us in the end, BUT expectations are ridiculously harmful in the first place. 

Bottom line here is this, you may have married the perfect person, your soul mate or not. The partner you choose, is a partner to share the ups and downs in life with and have a romantic connection with and more. It is the person who we need to spend the rest of our lives with and all that it brings.

So, Stop putting so much on your partner, and ask yourself this question?:

"Hey little sister, who's the one you need?"

Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~


http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview


*I do not own the rights to this song or video.

Thank you 🖤🖤🖤

I wanted to say thank you for taking time to check out this blog.

I do not know names or anything about any of you, but do hope I have been able to give you a different perspective on life's situations.

We all go through similar, if not, the same things in life. We don't have to go it alone.

Thank you for your time and energy!
I sincerely do appreciate it.

Until Next Time,
~It is what it is~

Http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Yes, I am insane but I can laugh about it!!!!

Have you ever been so tired but it is only the beginning of the week, and the week is filled with work, appointments, and no time to yourself?

Yeah, this has been my kinda week and it isn't over yet. I think I will actually have a true day off (no place to be with nothing to do) in May!!

I was driving home from work earlier and my mind would not stop. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I never turned the radio on! I was in my head, THE ENTIRE RIDE HOME! 30 minutes.
It made me think of this book. It is a great book! I loved reading it to my kids when they were younger. I also thought it applied to me today:

"When you are overtired this is how your mind works"

I got into my car, turned the ignition on, buckled up, and off I went. I decided to take the back roads to avoid the Friday night highway traffic. I passed an elementary school and thought about my kids. I do not have any kids in elementary any more. Time certainly flies by. We have lived here 10 years! 10 years!! Damn. I kinda miss the snow but only the fun stuff to do in the snow, not the cleaning off the cars part, shoveling, scrapping ice off, etc. I wonder if I still have my snow brush? Is it in this car or is it still in the van? Hmm..The accident. I am almost done with physical therapy. Woohoo to me!! A couple of more weeks. There is only about 7 weeks of school left and then summer! The beach! Cannot wait. I made plans with one of my bff's to get together with the kids to go swimming. I need to make sure that happens! I haven't had a vacation....since I do not remember the last time. When was the last time I had a vacation? No wonder I can't sleep, I need a vacation! Oh I need to call so 'n so. It has been a long time since I made a trip up there. I have turned into a bad friend. I have to make a few calls. I have become such a recluse! Why is that familiar? I need a road trip. Which reminds me, I haven't checked the oil in this car and I need too. Look at all that pollen. I need to go through the car wash. Wash. I need to wash my work clothes tonight. 3 more days of work. I can do this. I have two appointments for my 1st day off and two on my 2nd day off. Not all for me but it looks like it will be the same thing next week. I am hungry. I need to go food shopping. The kids said we have nothing to eat at all. I am not entirely sure they are wrong. My kids. I smile. I  can do this. I turned the car off, unbuckled, and off I went.

And that was probably only a 1/4 of what ran through my mind!!! It is just a cycle, I know. Don't we all go through them? Do what we have to do, get it done and then we forget about having time for ourselves?

No worries. It is temporary. You just need to remind yourself to stop. For a moment. Make plans to do something fun. Mark it down or put it in your phone. Make it important and follow through with it. 

Or you just may end up like the mouse in the book, being distracted by everything around you. Or even worse,

You will end up driving home, without the radio on, in your head, having an insane conversation with yourself!!!

Until Next Time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.facebook.com/Jackiesview

Everything is Fine.......

I think the key to life is acceptance. 

Whether it be, accepting the fear that comes with the unknown, the love you once had is no longer there, the tragedy that has changed you forever, the conflict you are avoiding or whatever it is, that is stopping you from being at peace with yourself, just accept it. 

Take that first step for yourself.

When you do, I promise you, you will not regret it.

Your people will be there supporting you.

Realize that some will leave you and that is OKAY.

If they are willing to let you go that easily, they are not worth having YOU in their life.

Everything will be fine.

It is your life to live.

Only you get to decide how to live it.

Until Next Time,

~It is what it is~

http://www.fcebook.com/Jackiesview